Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
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Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
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Comments (156)
UFIUETSimpdesign 5
That is messed up. Kids around. :/
ChawanKiti 15
That's ****** up. An amusement park? Really? Children need to learn about sex eventually, but not that way. That's disturbing and inappropriate.
fishryan 1
wow what a ******* ****** **** Bitch **** you should have had your kids turn away, snapped the boyfriends neck, cut of his tiny little **** ,then take his dick and shove it in her mouth and chocked her to death with it. that stupid ignorant ****** Bitch!
drizzy11 18
What is the birds and bees?
mFUNdo21 17
when a man and a woman love each other...
RedPillSucks 33
When birds and bees get in your pants, you jump and jiggle, and there's a party.
lloyd123 17
Heard of Google?
HaleiJ 16
That is down right disrespectful and disgusting. Unless there's a good reason (proposal, etc) I honestly don't even like seeing others make out in public. Save it for behind doors.
monnanon 14
making out is kissing right? that doesnt bother me really even if its a french kiss. there isnt really anything indecent about kissing. someone groping another person i do take issue with. its like those people who feel they have a right to have sex anywhere and everywhere because they are consenting adults. common deceny doesnt seem to factor into their heads.
Mshrodes 13
How would a proposal result in groping each other ? In a LINE ? There was no good reason for this.
SlapAndTickle 20
What did she do? Buy an engagement ring and put it on his ****? I find your lack of logic pitiful.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@47 actually "making out" tends to imply that there is some groping going on as well. They go full on tongue kiss with hands wandering over boobs, grabbing asses, and occasionally slipping up the shirt. It's an action that leads to sexy times.
Emily062611 6
I think 40 was saying a proposal is an appropriate reason to kiss, which they are usually opposed to.
HaleiJ 16
#114: Thank you! I'm not an idiot, I know making out leads to groping. I said I don't LIKE seeing others making out (clearly for that reason), UNLESS they have a reason to be, such as a proposal. I didn't freaking say the couple in this story just got engaged. Learn to read before you down vote and comment.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@#149 You kind of are because my comment was not directed at you. It was directed at the second comment specifically the question "Making out is kissing right?" . I was clarifying "Making out" is not "just kissing" the term making out encompasses that entire action of hardcore kissing and groping. If there's no groping then you are just kissing. If there is groping you are making out. I even specified who I was talking to so you have no excuse.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I apologize there was a number switch around earlier and my comment was #114 and the current #114 didn't exist in this thread but in one below it.
ShyAnn29 15
I agree with 11, embarrass the hell out of them, and hope that makes them stop, of course, since she had no sense of courtesy or respect, I bet she would have liked a big audience.
reeneebabe 10
smh. should have smacked her. -__-
Xalandra 17
Looks like you found that new amusement park game "smack-a-bitch". Have fun, and remember kids, idiot bitches will often times need to be smacked repeatedly.
papabear88 6
blobde, right?
starile 20
I'm sorry, were you just having a blonde moment?
Cazz91 21
Indecent exposure. Calling the security or police on them would have fixed that... Or do what everyone else has suggested and create attention around those idiots to get them to hopefully stop.