Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
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Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
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Comments (156)
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
Caitie_kid 8
That's disrespectful even if it's not technically a family park. No one should be forced to watch people doing nasty shit in public.
feroxletum 6
Prudes
wingedangel123 8
@75 Not wanting to watch two people getting it on in public makes us prudes? Well, I don't know about the others, but if that's the case, I'd much rather be called a prude than watch them continue to do that.
starile 20
If my memory of Horrible Bosses serves me correctly, this could be charged for indecent exposure and they would be registered as sex offenders! Thanks, movies.
fallslikedominos 10
I wonder what the son's reaction was? I would sure feel violated.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Why can't people ever learn to read these properly?
SlapAndTickle 20
That's when OP should have taught the kids why they should mind and respect their elders.
wonderfulrosie 13
Both her attitude and lack of public decency are disgusting. Some people just don't have any respect for others or themselves.
awkwardology 23
I'm really concerned how you wrote that she was a girl, suggesting that she looked under 18. If a minor is doing THAT in front of children, it truly is the apocalypse. :|
Caitie_kid 8
I had to go get a manager at a movie theater one time because there was a fairly young (looked to still be in high school) couple giving each other oral sex a couple rows in front of me at the Spongebob movie. That was 5 or 6 ago.
SlapAndTickle 20
Apocalypse? Teenagers having sex isn't exactly new. -_-
fallslikedominos 10
Wow I totally miss read this.
andrewturtle 16
Wow you totally misspelled 'misread'.
hol18 5
Some people have no class. I hope you informed security OP.
revolution4ever 14
x.x There's the answer as to why kids are learning about sex at super young ages, and not in the way that they should.
royalmsft 7
Wow Well They're A Bunch Of Jerk Offs
RedPillSucks 33
Just her, I guess
Redlawnchair 9
I would've thumbed this up but I couldn't get past the over abundance of capital letters....
pekkamecha 16
Wow that's just plain rude of her. You should have told her that "they're your kids and you get to decide how and when they learn about that" and then prob should have found a security guard to kick them out or at least get them to stop.