Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
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Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
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Comments (156)
Jjimen1654 9
I know just let the kids learn from **** like everyone else. Geeez
simsgirlgem 25
I hope you reported her that's something you just don't do in public
Nurd4lyfe 7
This kind of stuff wouldn't happen at Disneyland
Blahblah9921 4
ok i admit thats gross to do in public but i mean ur kids are gonna find out about nasty things sometime maybe u should explain to them at an early age alot of people do now adays
vorspiel 17
Why would you even do that shit when there's kids around?? Kind of creepy.
elizabeth713 8
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.. Indecent exposure or something. Should have called the cops on her.
Inked0803 12
Punch her in the face she has to learn how pain feels somehow
Probaton 11
I read that as '...slipped a hand down MY boyfriend's pants...' and was wondering why in god's name you were complaining about public decency when some random chick was groping your boyfriend without him stopping her.
Duckybird101 5
it looks like we are the only ones wondering why the boyfriend wasn't saying something.
kayleighcupcake 14
im all for showing your significant other a bit of affection in public but thats too far. some people are just vile :/
MuppetMerkin 10
Shaming kids these days seems to get more and more difficult. I think that were I in OPs shoes I would have loudly said, "Really? In front of children? Are you a registered sex offender? If not, you're about to be."