Health: Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell...

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 753

You deserved it 5 551

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Same thing different taste

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 26 368

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 3 380

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 869

You deserved it 2 224

By mrsfantastic - 12/09/2010 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 578

You deserved it 6 495

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 4 182

By Noname - 19/02/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 329

You deserved it 8 685

Punned

By 4fingerdiscount - 13/09/2016 11:07 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 413

You deserved it 1 918

By blank - 21/07/2010 13:52 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 4 121

Loser

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 01:00

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 214

By humanchewtoy - 07/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

You deserved it 482

Lilbabynid3 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

So did you send one?

pointless07 1

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

douche.

Comments

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:10

Rules are rules

WazUpItzRyan 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

4chan logic

MourningLight 2

Friday 30 December 2011 10:33

Rule 1 & 2.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

Text? Does no one actually CALL anyone anymore?

every1luvsboners 11

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:22

With the whole "anxiety" issue plaguing the world no one wants to get THAT personal.

Arxikist 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:39

Don't worry Doc I'll send you a telegram.

flockz 19

Thursday 29 December 2011 20:10

*dusts off rotary phone* doc, what's your code again?

downtime 12

Thursday 29 December 2011 23:55

I call people lots of things.

afulks78 11

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

Sure that's rude. But it's clever. ...

TheGothGamerGirl 20

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:17

I guess it didn't happen.

Regmeister 10

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:17

He just needed proof, but didn't know how to ask otherwise! But that's a rather unfortunate area to be bit in...

Awsumuzzie 12

Thursday 29 December 2011 21:01

Yeah, imagine how excited the doctor is, though. Male or female... I for sure would bounce and jiggle with joy.

Cami15 6

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:25

Clever bf you got there

Mr25_fml 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:26

did you send it?

hateevryone 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:28

he's a damn jerk. if he really want proof, he should go to the hospital & see for himself.

misfitmonroe 4

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:28

Wow. He sounds like a winner..T_T

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The Top

Today, I was on FaceTime with my sister. She remarked that my living room was a mess, and that she didn’t know how I kept a man with a place like that. I retorted, “He’s not with me for how well I can clean, when I can polish his knob like a marble floor!” I had no idea my dad was off camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 688

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 572

You deserved it 8 693

The Top

Today, I'm getting divorced because I found out that my husband of 17 years cheated on me when I was pregnant, all 3 times. He also had a year-long relationship with another woman, but, "it doesn't count because she knew I wasn't going to leave you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 123

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 474

You deserved it 8 940

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 035

You deserved it 42 018

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 072

You deserved it 5 037

Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 416

You deserved it 673

do not count your chickens before they hatch

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 152

Same thing different taste

Punned

Loser

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