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What the hell? First.

Your boyfriend is going places in life :}

Yes, douche.....but still funny :)

I've noticed that a lot of girls these days don't have very high standards.

A better response would have been are u alright?

A better response would have been 'are u ok?'

41- Yes 43- No

He's a guy he was just taking this opportunity to see if he could get a picture of her breast.

Your boobs must come off as a threat towards dogs

He most certainly isn't a douche. If my boyfriend got bitten in the penis by a dog, I sure as hell would want a photo.

Well, at least he didn't ask to see it in person. He'd have to pray for his life if he did, I would think.

Lol, "pics or gtfo"

90- In this case tit(s) or GTFO.

Oh come on your BF is a dude OP, what did you expect. Oh and he has some sense of humor.

24- Yeah, like Hell.

He is a keeper, atleast he doesn't pretend to be all nice and lovey dovey. He is a keeper

31- this is why Justin Bieber and Jersey Shore exist and Kim Kardashian is not a pornstar

So did you send one?

Still not funny 55.

Op, pics or it didnt happen This^ meant to be funny

Mrmisfit had some pretty funny comments before.

But scissors are pretty fun to lick...

Ahhhhh. I remember getting cut with scissors. My friend and I were messing around and before u know it I was on my way to the hospital freaking out because my finger was gushing out blood................ Awesome memories

Do you want to hear it again?!?!

We didn't exactly 'hear' it...

I heard it... The voices in my head read it to me....

154, do you tell that story at parties?

I kind of agree. Every time someone posts a comment that's not even mean everyone thumbs down it.

I know! People think you have to troll because it's the Internet

you know her breasts could be so gross and bloody and ripped apart, that it might ruin it for him.

That thought burns my innocent eyes

Did he get the pic?

This was my question. I mean, sure, he's an asshole for his response - but, I am curious if she sent it or not. Lol.

Doesn't make him an asshole, though true he probably is... Sometimes freaking out over a situation only makes it worse for the person involved. She obviously was fine enough to text, so no need for him to start flipping out and freak the shit out of her. A. Did she send the pic? B. Did he meet her there to assist with said breast injury?

you'd think the emergency worthy of having to go to the hospital would be cause for a phone call

I'm sure there's two sides to this...

Yeah, the right boob and the left boob

I'm pretty sure nobody took picyures of the dog biting her... If the dog didn't, OP could fake it and bite her own tits. Although that'd be... creepy.

No one said nothing about a nipple.. Weirdo

unless she beileves in self-harm and wanted pity...... but thts probably an incorrect assumption.

I read this as "lick" at first lol

5- the word you are looking for is ASS

I'm going to lick my professor's ass.

#38 Wtf does your professor have to do with any of this? Nice pic btw

58- chill man.. It's a joke!

5- This is the internet, not middle school. People don't give a shit if you use language or not.

119- I agree. I can use all the fucking language I want to on the Internet and I still don't give a shit! No bleeping or censoring for me;)

58- Back at you.

119- I don't know if you should be comparing it to middle school. At my middle school kids swore like there was no tomorrow.

I find language very useful

36- I thought it was APP

Well he was just thirsty! Plus you shouldn't have taken his puppy's and shoved them In the Dungeon of your castle with you 17 stuffed unicorns as guards!! Sorry but imma have to say YDI

What are you smoking and where pray tell can I get some??

I Don't smoke smokings bad. Instead I snort 5 ground up unicorn horns, 3 teaspoons of pixie dust and a coin from a leprechauns pot o' gold. Very easy ingredients that take you to a world better than Narnia and Oz combined!

Wtf you must of smoke a good one there?!?

What a vivid imagination...

5 unicorn horns? I find that more than 4 give me a severe hangover. Know any remedies for this?

^more unicorn horns

Please tell me that you don't pluralize words with an apostrophe very often...it would bring tear's to my eye's.

Have you seen the price of horns lately? Makes the price of magical reindeer flying juice seem cheep!

34- can you please explain in normal English?

#97. I realize horns are expensive but it's easy just go take a sled dog in Canada up to the north pole and talk to an elf named frankey. Say Jessie sent you #68 smear unicorn pee on your head and vag/dick. That should help. Be sure the pee doesn't contain HIV

^wrong FML there buddy

No wrong thread. Mine got burried so I accidentally put it here

Can I have pic??

No. Normal, healthy male would be the right term

I love bacon..........

Bacon's my drug..

Bacon's My dog

Unless your dog is a kelpy......Ruined it

26- I can't think of one guy who wouldn't want a picture.

Da because dudes are pervs

JB wouldn't.

He has confused real life with the Internet. He need to get his priorities straight.

I'm sure there's two sides to this.

You sir, have said the same thing twice which has angered me

WTF are you talking about?!

Oh damn

Jeez.. What a duche..

What's a duche? Please explain.

i could use it as a sentence for you to refresh your memory? :] "40, stop acting like a douche because you know what he means."

Boydeee- it's called a simple typo. I'm as big a Grammar Nazi as anyone else here, but you have to let typos go. Instead of worrying about typos, why not try submitting another FML of your own? I'm sure your first 44 rejected submissions were very close to being published.

Which FML was yours, Doc? You have 1 of 1 posted.

The one where he rocked his daughter to sleep after two hours and stubbed his toe on the way out of the room. His daughter's first word was "fuck."