When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 230 You deserved it 152 Share Tweet Share
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 074 You deserved it 3 951
Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 024 You deserved it 5 383
Today, as part of my job, I had to watch a few 5 year-olds while their parents were busy with my manager. It only confirmed my choice to never have children, and yet my mother still insists I should have one, because once they exist and I love them, I’ll see how silly my choice to not have them is. FML I agree, your life sucks 992 You deserved it 163
Today, I am a grown ass man and I cry when someone is slightly rude to me. I pretend to own my extreme emotional sensitivity, but when push comes to shove, I hate it. I wish I could be more assertive but I just can't. What is wrong with me? FML I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 263
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 518 You deserved it 5 856
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML I agree, your life sucks 37 861 You deserved it 8 812
Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 508 You deserved it 3 304
Today, I had to use a drop hole toilet while camping. The smell will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 107 You deserved it 657
Run Forest...Run!