Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
thapora 8
Sooo the next time he wants some, u say "u have hands use umm!" Lol
perdix 29
You need to dump him and find a guy who puts sex before TV shows. Hurry, I think there are only about two or three of them left.
chaosincarnate 8
Okay....didn't you just say that she needed to take a cold shower? WTF man. Get your story straight.
peacefully84 19
Well I wouldn't miss it for sex either, I've been dying to see the finale. But he could've come over afterward, and/or been less rude about it.
worldclassrager 39
If he likes breaking bad more than you...you deserve better...
theantonlolz 11
Your boyfriend ain't too bright, is he? Should have at least offered to watch it together if he turned down sex.
LindsayxMoore 18
next time he asks for sex tell him he has a hand, use it.
gladlily 16
How long is this freaking tv show that you can't watch it and have sex in the same evening?
CharlieM78 9
Come on it's breaking bad relax. As for watching it later that's kind of difficult as it's the series finales of one of the most popular shows on tv. The internet, tv, newspaper water coolers etc will all have to be avoided to avoid spoilers if he waits. Just because there's one hour that he doesn't want to have sex doesn't mean he loves you any less
JavaHava 2
Breaking Bad before sex, b*tch!
barons224 4
Lmao now that's funny