Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Steamy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Remote sex
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Talk sexy to me
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Dirty talk
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Do me
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Tell him next time he wants you to go over to use his damn hand.
Flowtastic 16
112 - that's a stupid statement. That's like saying all blondes are stupid, o wait...
ManicGypsy 22
TL:DR Why not both?
xvigil14 9
You should know better than that!!! It's breaking bad for Christ's sake
_NeoQueen_ 7
so....why are you dating him??
Caitie_kid 8
170, if you can't see that there's a lot more to a relationship than sex, then I feel bad for you. Physical aspects will only keep a relationship together for so long. Emotional aspects are what makes a relationship strong and lasting.
NyxWrath 20
your boyfriend sounds like an asshat, sorry honey but next time he wants "fun" he can play with himself :)
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Next time he wants sex tell him he has a hand and can use that. There's nothing wrong with postponing sex or denying it to you, but he was awfully rude about it.
asnakelovinbabe 16
177 Go back and READ my comment again, and when you comprehend it properly, get back to me. I literally JUST said that sex is not ALL a relationship is about, but that it IS *usually* a component of a *healthy* happy relationship. There is a LOT more to a relationship than sex.... But don't try and tell me sex is not a major player. Because it is. If you aren't having good sex, you aren't going to want it. If the sex isn't good, it often stems from poor communication between the two individuals and the dissatisfied partner not speaking up. So even when it's concerning sex, it's deeper than just sexuality, For example... Instead of helping her man and showing him what she likes and what feels good, a girl may just fake it to get it over with. There is a lot more going on there than just the sexual aspect of it. Communicate well, have good sex, and your body will release lots of feel-goods... Good sex can keep things such as depression and anxiety at bay. You bond closer, you feel happier and energized, and you can relax easier because your body releases a ton of endorphins and other things that make you feel great. Regular doses of this is great for a person's physical and mental well-being. Have you ever heard someone say "she needs a good lay" about a woman who is really uptight and irritable? There is some science behind that! There is nothing wrong with saying that sex is a part of a healthy relationship, and that is FAR from saying that a relationship is all about sex.
BrotherPhil 35
True, but he doesn't have to be a bitch about it.