Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
tannara 12
Well... It is breaking bad
aligater10 7
When he wants some tell him "he has a hand, ******* use it"
gary3768 13
Hell record it and take care of business lol
Stazza11 27
I don't think OP's other half is getting laid for a while now.
daboar 5
Well it's the breaking bad finale, but he could have recorded it, it's just a tv show after all
CanadiAnM8 24
BREAKING BAD IS MORE THEN A TV SHOW. IT'S LEGEN... wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because this next part is DARY.
JennaNGood 21
I literally JUST got a torrent of a show seven minutes after it aired. And honestly if it's THAT big of a deal, I'm surprised he even has a girlfriend.
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
What the **** do you need him for?
martin8337 35
You could have gone over there after Breaking Bad to have some fun. .
Enslaved 36
Butt still bring the *****. . . for him!
Parkour_rocks 20
Uhhh what now?
drshn 22
dump that jerk and get a new one... you deserve better... Now I would never say that any day
olpally 32
He can DVR that stupid shit... What an ass.
CanadiAnM8 24
BREAKING BAD IS NOT STUPID SHIT. HELLLLL NO. BITCH. MR OLPALLY!
olpally 32
LOUD NOISES!!! Yeah, I'm sick and tired of hearing about it on my Facebook news feed and at work and now here. Don't have time for that, give me NFL Sunday instead.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Football is a ******* snorefest compared to Breaking Bad. What a boring person you must be.
olpally 32
I'm sorry, when did the NFL become worse than "breaking bad" tv wise? can you bet money on breaking bad? Don't think so.
squidgy787 22
Actually you can. I did. :-)
Nyx_fml 23
Wait, wait, wait. You're tired of hearing about Breaking Bad on Facebook, at work and on FML, so you go to the comment section of a Breaking Bad FML instead of just skipping it? Genius!
buckeyed 20
i love breaking bad and football. theyre not even close to the same thing. but just because youre sick of hearing it doesnt make it crap, and its over now anyway.