Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
giorgi0202 9
I think sex is more fun then a tv show
misspulkadot24 17
I get more orgasms from Breaking Bad. Plus, Aaron Paul is a sex god (bitch).
sugarbreeze 5
Yeah, I rather watch Break Bad than have sex....
DrownedMyFish 18
The Breaking Bad is not just a TV show!
bruins46 6
I take it you've never watched Breaking Bad...
Chumbowamba 10
and these are all responses of forever alone people. Who value a show more than people. Faith in humanity is lossed a little a today.
AliceLockehart 18
@255 You obviously haven't seen Breaking Bad.
JennaNGood 21
In this day and age, it's not too difficult to find it online. Or better yet, PVR it. Just because it's the finale, and just because it's Breaking Bad is no excuse.
jasmine2301 25
In his defense Breaking Bad is really addicting...
ButterflyLadyBug 14
agreed
ButterflyLadyBug 14
agreed ! .. about the Breaking Bad being addicting thing . not the being mean thing .
romanrox909 7
Wow. What a loser. He picks a shitty TV show no one cares about over you? You're better off without him OP. He's gonna be 30 and single.
Bernie1298 11
Actually it won 5 emmys
romanrox909 7
Only fat single losers would pick a TV show over a girl/boy. Those are those people who are 30 and still living with their mom. Ha. OP doesnt need that. She can do soo much better.
queerdragon 20
My brother-in-law still lives with his mother, she is terminally ill and they cannot afford the health insurance. Many people my age live with their parents because life does not always make it easy to have your own house or be able to survive off min. wage. Yes, he should have been nicer about it, but he can not be in the mood. She has been dating him long enough, hopefully, that she knows about his Breaking Bad addiction. This is a FML that the blame kind of belongs to Op for not knowing her partner well enough to ask on his TV night.
FrankHotpants 31
You know what's better then watching actors acting, having real fun with real people actually happening to you.
Caitie_kid 8
Why is he supposed to drop everything and bang her? Because he's a man? Not everyone wants to have sex all the time. I'm sure she's not been in the mood because of similar circumstances plenty of times. That being said, he could have been not so rude about it.
CanadiAnM8 24
#17 The show is more popular then you. More people like it then they like you as they don't know you and you're stupid ass comment makes them dislike you. I suggest you shut up. BITCH. MR. ROMAN
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
HAHAHA no. I mean I haven't watched breaking bad but you couldn't tear me away from the walking dead.
jamjam12 15
A shitty tv show? Um you do realize it just got a world record for most critically acclaimed tv show....
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Not sure if roman is a troll or an idiot but either way he is a high octane douche rocket with a tiny brain and most likely a tiny prick. What a worthless waste of resources you are. If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time and give your dad a condom. You have no human value as far as I am concerned.
romanrox909 7
I have no human value because I dont like a stupid TV show? That's rich. I value myself a lot tyvm.
little_one 20
205- you need to be beat with a stick, maybe it would knock the stupid out of you. I would NEVER! ask for some before or during this show I nearly got a beat down for eating celery too loud! It's more than just any tv show, it's Breaking Bad. People love this show more than you love you mother.
romanrox909 7
I'll have you know I love my mother very much. Who are you to say that I don't? And Breaking Bad is still a shitty TV show that bandwagon riders watch to be "popular" and "in"
AliceLockehart 18
Just stop talking dude. Give it up. Breaking Bad is far cooler & more respected than you could EVER hope to be. I'd like to see you create something that's loved by millions of people. Yeah, didn't think so. You don't have an original thought in that dusty head cavity of yours.
gussy1d5 2
you stupid bitch, you wouldn't know what good is even if it smacked you on the head.
walkingspastic 22
It's the series finale, I'd tell you the same. Call him tomorrow and try then.
sunnyray812 42
That's when you say, "It's ok. It gives me more pleasure than you anyway."
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
And Breaking Bad gives her boyfriend more pleasure than sex with her...back to square one.
JonDG 12
you deserved it OP, how dare you not know about Breaking Bad. jk jk. your boyfriends a loser
awilso13 8
Her boyfriend ftw! Let em' know bruh, ******* be trippin' lol
perdix 29
Hey, they're down to the final episodes. Take a cold shower, ya nympho!
jamjam12 15
final *episode. so the boyfriend's behavior is totally acceptable, I mean it's Breaking Bad for christ sake!
JonDG 12
HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THUMBS UP FOR CALLING OP A NYMPHO???????
150493x 29
If he wants to watch it then fair enough but he didn't have to act like a complete asshole about it.