Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
commandercolbert 6
is he gayy?
PieknyCzlowiek 7
Finale or not, sex is better than any TV show. Yeah if he had tivo, record it but not everyone has that. Still, it would be on again tomorrow.
MRVOlivia 22
But...It's Breaking Bad. I'd invite you over to come watch it together and then have sex. But Breaking Bad always comes first. Always.
RLD101 3
wow...
asnakelovinbabe 16
Some of us women always want to have sex too. It goes both ways... There will ALWAYS be a couple times when either partner just isn't in the mood or not feeling well. That is normal. But I do not tolerate when women are hypocrites and get mad at their man for saying NO once when they have made every excuse under the sun not to have sex. I have friends that are like that and it just gets under my skin big time. I feel that if you start to be repulsed by your lover - it's time to have a sit down and discuss what is going wrong. But back to the original post... I do agree that he was a dick (even though I did laugh a bit) and I have a strong feeling that it was said more jokingly and either the girl took it the wrong way, or she laughed but posted it on FML anyways because it was funny. My husband and I say things like this to each other constantly jokingly... We share a strange sense of humor.
stirbnichtvormir 14
Sounds like he doesn't deserve you...
red82991 5
The answer is simple: Next time he wants some just say "You have a hand, use it!"
Vix_Sparda 11
... and im single. i would have been over in minutes x.x
chaosincarnate 8
At least sex isn't a priority for him.
ctina 15
It's the series finale of Breaking Bad. I have to go with your boyfriend on that one.