Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
museerux01 10
Respond with "well it is bigger"
Dcm210 19
Maybe find a better guy to have fun with.
monnanon 13
why exactly could he not have said "im sorry babe but breaking bad is on and its the finale. tomorrow though" no one begrudges someone their alone time but if a request i had made had been met with that answer i would be pissed.
jude_iscariot 7
I'd break up with you because you're not watching Breaking Bad with him. This isn't an FML, this is just a "Oh, well". I mean, your boyfriend has the right idea.
br0ck 9
If he was saying it to you for example, it would be best to say it as, "Yo, MrSassypants, I can't have sex coz I gotta watch Breaking Bad. Use a *****, BITCH!"
Omniprism 14
He won't like it when you start using your ***** instead of having fun with him all the time.
lanco_fml 10
time to find a new bf...they invented dvr for a reason..in the end all we have is our significant other
jaybone87 8
its breaking bad. use some common sense please.......
alfred07 18
If watching a show was the only reason he didn't want sex that night why not just have sex before and/or after the show?
JonDG 12
or during commercials. that gives her a good 20 minutes if you add it up
Burning65 5
At least the guy has his priorities in order