Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Steamy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Remote sex
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Talk sexy to me
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Dirty talk
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Do me
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
dcross1213 4
these people are stupid breaking bad sucks I would rather have fun hit me up
baref00tmama 15
I dunno, OP-shouldn't you know that he's this crazy about his favorite TV show? Was this one of those weird power-play things some women do, where they try to see what they can get their man to give up for sex? Just let him watch his TV in peace!!
Hutch1965 6
You should have totally known better. It's the most talked about series finale of the year.
Goblin182 26
The botler did it
greenpixi 10
I don't even have a problem with the way he said it, especially if she knew he was really looking forward to the finale
thegreycat_fml 12
He could have been politer about it, or asked you to come over after the finale.
Smo0chin 14
that's a fair response
RustlingSoul 26
well it WAS the finale.
alexdevega 5
your boyfriend sold you for serial. it looks like he don't care about you much.
myeviltwin 20
Hey in his defense it was the SERIES FINALE of the best television show ever. But, yeah he could have been nicer about it.