Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
Taurus_ChicKa 36
OP, please do me a grand favor and tell me that you dumped that asshole. Like someone already said, he basically told you to go screw yourself. Over a TV SHOW. Does he not have DVR, or even a VCR? Something? And can he not watch it online later (most shows put their episodes up on the official website within 24 hours of it airing on TV)? It's a stupid show at that, one that shouldn't be worshiped at all, and he would rather watch it than spend time with his girlfriend? And, I'm sorry, but in this day and age, what man turns down sex for anything other than health issues? Lose him OP, you can do better.
grashopper8 7
Meh there are hotter nicer guys out there.
slickchrome 11
seriously who's reading these essays
swaggalikethat 22
Preaching to the choir on that one 96
JohnTheLad 13
He isn't a man.
nitrog100 21
A girl getting pissy because her boyfriend would rather do something else than have sex. The irony is palpable. You should have known better than to compete with Breaking Bad.
monnanon 13
shes pissy because of the way he answered.
Czech_Zidane 14
I do not watch Breaking Bad, so OP could call me...but I am from Europe, so this is quite a problem.
Ksweety_fml 27
BURN!!!!!!!!!
charybdis1618033 5
It was the series finale, so yes, it was quite a bit better than sex. However, it aired at 7, and was 53 minutes long. He had plenty of time for you. So, yes, fyl.
bnd123us 2
well he was right.
DQEight 8
simple solution, mess around during commercial breaks.