Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
KawaiiCupcake 14
#170 I like what you said until you said "when sexual ends aren't met..." What if I'm dating a bf who wants to have sex but I don't? Yes his unhappy and desperate so does it mean I have to give out? Or does he have to break up with me?
gimmicksz 9
YDI, its the last show everrrr, how dare you
sassy2085 16
Why doesn't he record breaking bad problem solved. :)
furubafan74 18
Next time he's horny, tell him, "You have a hand, use it."
Chumbowamba 10
Hmmm who gives a shit about breaking bad? its a ******* tv people who devote themselves to that shit need a life. and op you need a better boyfriend.
vffjvsegb 11
I almost pissed myself reading that I laughed so bad
wiccaantje 21
@248 That person was talking about long-term problems, so I'm going to act like you were talking about long-term sexual incompatibility. If you boyfriend constantly wants more sex then you (let's say 4 times a week and you 1 time a week) and he is unhappy with this then yes, I do think that either there comes a compromise (you give him more oral sex, more actual sex, ...whatever) or there eventually will be a break-up. I don't think he's an asshole for breaking up over too little sex, that is really important. Can you imagine being unhappy with your sex life for the rest of your life? I don't think you are an asshole for not putting out more. Again can you imagine having to do more sexual acts on a weekly basis when you just don't feel like it. In my opinion, there are certain aspects of a relationship that just need to be compatible or it doesn't work. Sex is a big one (monogamy and polygamy; asexual and sex-addict; hates ******** and loves ********; ...), religion (don't put an atheïst and deeply religious person together), ... It's nobody's fault, not even when it is about sex. Nobody calls anyone an asshole if the atheïst and the religious person breaks it off because of religious incompatibility. Some pieces just need to fit together.
ballpython 15
It's Breaking Bad for shit's sake. I agree with OP completely. I would have done the same.
jimmywithsalt 19
Everything else was irrelevant during last night's Breaking Bad.
Weiss729 6
Breaking bad turns into bad breakup