Miscellaneous: Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it...

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 412

You deserved it 5 056

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Same thing different taste

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 583

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 760

You deserved it 19 606

By Genuine D - 13/05/2017 08:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 484

You deserved it 431

By WearingSomethingStringy - 10/04/2013 00:02 - United States - Cranston

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 12 090

By fuckalltwitardsintheface - 20/09/2012 21:34 - United States - Lindsey

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573

You deserved it 1 701

By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - 27/06/2015 01:21 - United States - Roanoke

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 319

You deserved it 2 563

By lalalasmiles06 - 04/09/2010 03:47

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 952

You deserved it 7 250

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 3 336

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 645

You deserved it 7 399

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 228

You deserved it 4 305

KatieKoala 19

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss

rieebee 23

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Sleep-eating? For that minty fresh ass...

Comments

martin8337 35

Monday 4 May 2015 0:25

Did you get drunk one night, then the next day woke up with your underwear on backwards and a dollar in your hand?

sunnyskys 25

Monday 4 May 2015 5:17

there is your support figure out the rest

sunnyskys 25

Monday 4 May 2015 16:55

sorry, I laughed about but that isn't how I really feel on the subject

thejokingguy13 12

Monday 4 May 2015 0:27

Look on the bright side, you won't have any cavities there

mistress_paz 30

Monday 4 May 2015 3:05

Anal cavity

Mynamewontfi 40

Monday 4 May 2015 7:11

#52 I like how your profilepicture fits the reply.

kaitlynjane 28

Monday 4 May 2015 11:47

Rude.

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 4 May 2015 16:20

Lol. How's it rude? Her profile picture is wonderful with her reply because she looks so proud of her goofy joke. You're kind of rude for assuming something more insulting, tbh.

Mynamewontfi 40

Monday 4 May 2015 20:10

#108 Thanks for saying that. That was actually what I meant, but I'm afraid it might've come out wrong.

edward80 18

Monday 4 May 2015 0:28

You should explain your flossify of how you keep your teeth clean !

Exaspera 54

Monday 4 May 2015 0:32

*groan*

BloodyBanana 6

Monday 4 May 2015 0:29

Is it now clean?

TheBelt 19

Monday 4 May 2015 0:33

Maybe one of those new thongs?

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 4 May 2015 0:43

I know it's mint flavored and all, but you really shouldn't be eating it OP.

150493x 29

Monday 4 May 2015 0:46

Did 9 out of 10 dentists recommend you floss your ass?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 4 May 2015 5:05

no. unfortunately she listened to that damned 10th dentist. I think he's still doing time for... you know.

HappyItalian 38

Monday 4 May 2015 0:49

I don't think that's what they mean by "G-String" OP.

sunnyskys 25

Monday 4 May 2015 5:13

aaahhh, burn.

DaRito 25

Monday 4 May 2015 0:50

It means you swallowed a piece of floss.

xrudeboyrock 29

Monday 4 May 2015 5:26

pretty easily solved, you swallowed a piece while flossing! unless you don't floss... then you got me.

RickySleeves 20

Monday 4 May 2015 0:54

That must have been an ass-stounding discovery! I'll let myself out.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

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You deserved it 46 008

The Top

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You deserved it 72

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You deserved it 9 804

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I agree, your life sucks 32 593

You deserved it 8 926

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I agree, your life sucks 14 312

You deserved it 46 077

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I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 3 673

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I agree, your life sucks 10 239

You deserved it 47 525

Same thing different taste

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