By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - 27/06/2015 01:21 - United States - Roanoke

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 305
You deserved it 2 561
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Top comments

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

I think lying about it is way worse than owning up to it. It just makes you look stupider than you already look.

444 8

Comments

MortenM 17

Yes, but there's no need to be that anal about it

93 8
zahidnasir 22

But nobody is perfect so why practice?

6 62
Kobeh 13

That may have been the most ignorant question I have ever heard #72

64 2
Welshite 39

I accidentally trip and fall onto condomed zucchini all the time. I simply consider it a sign from the universe and make sure to slip repeatedly.

279 14
jerzjay 17

Simple explanation, the cucumber was cold so they put a condom on it cause it fits like a glove, and then they stepped on a banana peel slipped feet first, dropped the cucumber while in the air, and fell on it ass first...makes complete sense!

94 3
simeone 3

You forgot they were naked too

80 2
4WheelBurnout 14

Everyone has yet to ask the gender of this "Idiot"

1 35
cadillacgal79 32

This FML just screams Docbastard.

242 11
False_Stupidity 41

The very first thing i thought of after reading this was DocBastard and his picture..

85 5
Feklfekl2222 32

I thought Doc until I saw the OP had his location attached, we know Doc would never slip up like that

75 4
RedPillSucks 31

doc, it looks like the dude in your pic wasn't practicing safe come bottle sex. I hope the cap was off

4 29
rockyhorrorQT 12

I also thought DocBastard when I read this.

7 14
logicnazi 18

#84 you'll see him if you read enough comments

3 12
psychopolarbear 28

Congrats Doc, you've achieved monument status on FML

11 1
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22

Was he worried he would get an STD from the cucumber?

10 2
fiveforfighting 26

He was probably using the condom for the lube but then again we never know what these people are thinking..

0 2
SuperWhoMarvLock 22

I think lying about it is way worse than owning up to it. It just makes you look stupider than you already look.

444 8
darkmournings 12

amen!. there is no point in lying when ita brutally obvious what was actually going on.

29 3
cadillacgal79 32

"I swear doctor, I fell backwards and that cucumber went straight up my ass!"

51 1
pygmyfrog 31

The people with objects up their orifices must really think hospital staff are morons if they expect to be believed ... which makes you wonder why they'd want help from morons ...

29 1
logicnazi 18

I would still lie, but something feasible like, "my friends and I like doing dares/pranks kinda like the show jackass... Etc".

23 1
CaitiieBuggs 23

An old professor of mine once brought in x-rays of random things stuck up men's asses. The best one was of a remote control and tagging along right behind it was salad tongs. The man swore up and down he tripped and fell on both items.

19 2
mthurston 14

Yeah, lying to hospital staff is like lying to the cops, don't do it cuz they're there to help

7 0
mads_nicole 19

Oh the things I could say, butt I think I'll keep my mouth shut.

32 61
Jefffz 13

I liked this don't know why you were voted down

3 19
laden_swallow09 34

I voted it down because the comment was redundant and offered nothing of any worth to the subject. If you have nothing to say, then keep it at that; don't say anything. Also, too much work for such a weak pun.

19 3
OysterPearls 33

At least it wasn't a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth maple syrup. It's happened.

85 2
rockwrench 18

Now thats just funny. Great comment.

4 17