By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 479
You deserved it 5 064
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Top comments

Welshite 39

Chocolate covered coffee beans are your friend. Tell your boss they are chocolate covered raisins, and you'll be left alone. No one sane likes raisins.

375 15

Comments

Wutdafuqq 24

Sounds like all he's doing is lowering staff productivity by doing this.

45 0
dcam13 19

ahah no one fully realizes caffeine is a drug until they try to stop using it. but why would they ban coffee in the first place?

15 2
Mons_fml 27

You don't realize how bad it is until you see yourself through the office bathroom mirrors, shooting up caffine with dirty needles.

13 10
tantanpanda 26

Can't op just get coffee before work? what's stopping you from doing so?

4 1
Welshite 39

Chocolate covered coffee beans are your friend. Tell your boss they are chocolate covered raisins, and you'll be left alone. No one sane likes raisins.

375 15
ShowMeKay 20

Does that certify me as insane? I love raisins :(

77 4
Welshite 39

You shouldn't have admitted to liking raisins. You'll be institutionalized by the end of the week.

103 6
clemsi 20

I also love raisins....Human pinball party in the padded rooms....Ill bring the raisins, someone else will have to bring drinks.

60 1
sunnyskys 25

I'll bring the grapes lol and a heat lamp

6 4
MidnaLink 33

Love 'em. Love 'em, Love 'em, Love 'em!

4 1
praesidiem 16

Sorry FML users, but I'm going to have to call this in. Too many of you are outside your padded rooms.

24 0
MrsPegg 45

Chocolate covered coffee beans FTW. Freakin delicious and much stronger than a cup of coffee!

8 1
zunair74 16

Someone's summoned the raisin squad

5 1
SailorSolaris 43

I love raisins! They help big time with one of my med's unfortunate side effects! *cough*constipation*cough*

4 1
13unluckystars 3

I dunno if that'd work, anyone crazy enough to ban coffee probably loves raisins too :p

0 1
kittykat1501 31

Raisins rock!

0 0
Sxylilhalfpint 20

I feel your pain I can't go a day without my coffee. or it's not pretty.

36 4
alexlots 20

Get revenge, figure out how to give him tons of caffeine then stop a few months in and watch in amusement

12 26
HappyItalian 38

I honestly don't think this is bad enough to pull a revenge on, especially since OP's boss obviously didn't direct it specifically to him only (he probably didn't think it would affect OP or any other worker THAT badly). I believe OP should just figure out a solution like #3 said.

23 2
alexlots 20

Lol i was joking. Would never actually recommend slipping someone caffeine

5 13
Exaspera 54

Workplace productivity drops 75% within the week.

85 2
starile 19

Boss comes up missing on the evening news....

15 0
booze_n_bitches 37

Can't believe he made you go cold turkey! Join a Caffoholics Anonymous group, we believe in you! You can do it OP!

40 3
Astrum14 24

Yeah, that Caffohol is a real bitch to kick.

4 0
TheBelt 19

once you start drinking coffee you can't go back

15 4
Lucario227 22

I remember my first cup of coffee. My life was changed forever. My blood is probably 99% Caffeine

16 1
praesidiem 16

You know what they say, "Once you go black, you never go back!"

11 2
Rebnobfulroar 17

I remember my first cup of coffee, except I hated it. To each their own, I guess.

6 0
jeff_boles 12

Just do Speed instead! It'll help wake you up, stay focused, and it has several other health benefits! Wait, that may be drinking a glass of water every 4 hours... oh well you can try both!

35 6
Exaspera 54

Much easier to sneak into the office, too!

11 1
HappyItalian 38

Eat apples! I stopped drinking coffee and started eating apples instead. Not only does it wake you up, but at least it's a healthy alternative.

24 1
daisylokes 16

you know what they say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

1 1
najraa 19

So does a cup of coffee, you just have to throw it hard enough.

10 1