Miscellaneous: Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work,...

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 587

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Same thing different taste

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 270

You deserved it 8 489

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 426

You deserved it 5 066

By Toothy_Peg - 13/06/2009 15:13 - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 222

You deserved it 4 332

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 2 799

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 559

By empress gleskizor the third of glarkon - 18/04/2016 18:12 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 1 323

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 771

You deserved it 19 621

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 765

You deserved it 44 232

Ewwww, gross

By Tancred - 15/09/2011 07:36 - Canada

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 2 167

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 183

whatwasthatnoise 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:49

couurtt, i'd say you totally got the wrong idea about this story...i'm pretty sure that they are trying to say that the pube they found came from the food they ate while at lunch. Cause tbh if it came from oral you'd notice it a lot sooner than after lunch, hours later. Although i agree with the 4" bit...that seems massive for a pube

f_alltheirlives 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:47

Now you have organic floss! Nature is our friend, even though it is mostly disgusting :D

Comments

couurtt 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

elara15 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 13:39

Yep, not an FML, a sign of a good night!

KumoFF7 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:27

YDI for keeping floss in your car.

Slaught_fml 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:49

It was because someone put the pube in his lunch you idiots. BTW if it was 4 inches it was just a curly hair so calm down.

djqlue 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 21:38

lol the person who wrote this is near retarded. how could it possibly even be his/her own pubic hair? there was no need to add that to the story....

fsebastianslife 0

Friday 5 March 2010 4:27

i swear, ppl r retarded. the pube OBVIOUSLY wasnt his, nd its not from oral, otherwise it wouldnt be an fml. so tht only leaves the fact tht it was in the food, and THAT is the fml. your welcome OP :)

fsebastianslife 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:59

haha why did u need floss? u already had a four inch piece of floss xD

krazygirl100 9

Thursday 14 April 2011 23:50

amc597 28

Saturday 29 December 2012 22:29

#33: That doesn't even make sense lol. It's actually a smart thing.

TC1_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:45

A 4" pube sounds kinda impossible imo, but at least you feel like you've licked the cook's armpit now. :)

TC1_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:10

Well, from what I've seen, pubes are usually a bit thicker than head hair, not too much, but enough to distinguish head hair from pubes. Then again, maybe I've just seen the wrong pubes & hair...