Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Happy Valentine's Day
Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
True romantic
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Lost in the sauce
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Nuts
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Giggle loop
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Top comments
IXChaosDragonXI 13
And that's why you make the bastard wait lol
raininginseattle 9
Ask him "why do all the guys yell that?"
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Comments (144)
xnyletak 17
Sounds like you picked a winner.
BrittNic0le 9
Maybe he was celebrating that he "came" first. Some men can be so competitive. ;p
hunts19ketchup 23
And who would he be competing with? His girlfriend? That's actually NOT how sex is supposed to work...
evolute72113 9
U hit that shit bro!
EarlFug 19
Sorry about that. But the comeback you wanted there was, "No you're second. And tell (guy's best friend, father, whatever) to take care of his herpes"
mythicaltimes 15
Tell him to dress up as a dime for Halloween next year and come second for a change.
skipper2009 18
Wow you must feel so great right now.
breakinlegs 19
I hate to see him play uno.
CyberGothic 16
I that turd gets a second chance then you two deserve each other.
rethic 5
Think of it this way. Sure that was an insensitive and dumb thing to do, but at least later in life when you get over it (which you will) you'll have an interesting story to tell. Rest assured that while teenage boys do a lot of dumb and insensitive things, they generally don't mean to me hurtful, and will eventually learn to be better when they are adults.
skittyskatbrat 19
Proper response "And my next boyfriend will get to give me my first ******."