By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 204
You deserved it 38 034

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What is with the people without pics, who can't type a sentence with a capital letter, and the fact that they keep hitting on random girls that they will probably never meet?

To clarify, 19 was explaining the complexity of Geller field travel while a ship a cruiser size or larger opens a rift in subspace and pulls itself into the warp. While I agree with his thesis on the matter, I must say that he should have included the compensation required to navigate through the empryean with a cruisers mass and density in mind. I hope this clears up the confusion about his post.

Comments

That's what you get when it's your FIRST time! ;)

I agree with this guy. next time don't laugh it is obviously going to hurt the guys confidence. ydi for laughing

yeah. you fail. failure. but youre still a virgin!

lol I think it's hott when the guys balls slap against the butt! did it hurt when he went fast? I think on a girls first time it shoul all be gentle, maybe that's just me..

fyl? I say f his life, he's the one with the blue balls

lol I would laugh too

wat does OP mean????

after 10 mins she'd be used to it so he could wreck her if he wanted. but ya lol it's not a ydi or fyl cuz I mean it's ur first it's never gonna be perfect. wait till u queef for the first time during sex. lol u'll die of either embersement or laughter

hahaha plop plop plop

29, I agree with you. (: haha

I'm officially suggesting a threesome with 29, 70, and myself.... Just sayin... Lets get it done. Also I didn't finish my first time either.. Meh, most guys I've talked to say the same thing too.

Agree with 29... Are you really a virgin? Cuz I would think the first time is sore and the guy goes real slow on it. But yeah, balls slamming into you is sexy.

um to the people with the balls comments nice. and OP laughing made him less confident and that's why what happened happened. not to put all the blame on you but if you controled your laughter then this might've been avoided.

isnt ur first time supposed to hurt enough so that he wouldnt have gone fast, and u wouldnt laugh? also, u said "apparently that wasnt sexy" ....APPARENTLY?! what kind of guy would find it sexy to be givin it his all just to have the girl laugh at his best efforts.. lol

umm if I was him you wouldn't be laughing sweetheart no matter how funny it is !! I think he works for Oscar meyers cus he sounds like a fkn weener!!.

I don't beilve you. ^^^

Original Poster

..at least he lasted more than 10 minutes.

Maybe he went soft cause he came in you.. Just sayin

#75, haha I don't see what the big deal with laughing was. hurt his confidence? :O what?!?!  I thought guy were tough enough to handle a little laughing. sad. tsk tsk. OP, fyl for a bf that insecure. "putting his best effort into it". not like OP was laughing because he sucked. damn. OP, did you even tell him that? communication, people!!  Besides, wouldn't ya think that OPs bf would know that the first time would be awkward? If it was me, I'd be laughing like an idiot.

hahahaha! that plop plop plop made my day thank you for that:]

between the plop plop plop and the talking about balls and assholes.. really doesn't make me too hungry... cheesburger looked good just a minute ago

kk if ur going to get a cheeseburger u should go to Burger King cuz they have good burgers and high play centers u also get free hats 

how can you go soft when you have sex? I get the hint the laugh wasn't the only thing not sexy

original poster

no...... fuck his life! only bitches go soft

every comment is a reply to FIRST :@ sex is good

I would have been better

OP means something like: "Original Poster"

the first ALWAYS sucks. lol o well

lol, I agree with 29.

57. first don't reply to the comment, unless your comment is related to theres! second op means original poster

I agree with 114, how do u go soft during sex? no matter what she says.

...really?;) got to try it tonight..., I'll ask my gf whether she agrees as well...lol

U deserve it for laughing.

@29 Definitely agree with that [:

17 if you have sex your not a virgin if the genitals meet in the way of sexual intercourse. You must be a science fail if you didn't know that. If your gonna be retarded, please don't show it on the fml app. ;D I'm in ninth grade and even I know this

too bad it was your FIRST time

You fail.

no air our cment were posted at the se second if you looke you just got lily sp please die the pit of fire to your right, thank you.

To clarify, 19 was explaining the complexity of Geller field travel while a ship a cruiser size or larger opens a rift in subspace and pulls itself into the warp. While I agree with his thesis on the matter, I must say that he should have included the compensation required to navigate through the empryean with a cruisers mass and density in mind. I hope this clears up the confusion about his post.

#19 you fail for not knowing the difference between seconds and minutes

And we needed to know this why? Just sayin.

#38 I love you for your name.

Subject Delta, is this taking into account the skill of the Astropath on board, assuming of course there is one, and a navigator who is able to read the warp currents without succumbing to the denizens that reside in the maelstrom? Reports salvaged from the Eisenstein, an imperial ship in service at the dawn of the Horus Heresy, indicate warp travel is possible with an unstable Gellar field, albeit extremely perilous and at a cost of your navigators' sanity.

damn, you're hot

who gives half a flying shit about warp zones

hey I'm new to fml. what is OP?

number 14 7 and 47 hop off my j you bk scrandoms and again pit of fire to te right please die in it

the OP said his stomach flapped against her, not his balls.... so.... does that mean he's fat? jw...

It's okay, my boyfriend and i didn't finish the first three times either. =)

u must have one fd up laugh

lol this is hilarious

then u must suck

this is funny if it's a pun for oral sex...can't laugh while sucking..."milk" will come out ur nose!

i've had that happen

Same here. Its hard to hold in your laugh when that happens. Hahaha, Im laughing just thinking about it :D

YDI for being immature.

bah... she deserves it for losing her virginity to a fat guy. or for being fat herself to the point that bellies were slapping

both my ex and I weighed only about 128 lbs we weighed the same and we r both really fit and when we would have sex our skin would get all sweaty and suction together, causing a really funny sound... we both laughed

my ex and I were both really skinny, 128 lbs each, and we were in track and very good shape, and when we had sex our skin would get all sweaty and suction together, so it would make a really funny sound. u don't have to be fat for this to happen.

sorry bout the double post the first didn't show up for awhile so I thought it didn't work ...

rubbing and suction are different than slapping together. I am very fit and my stomach is in contact with my girls also, but slapping together? definitely fat.

@35- because fat people shouldn't enjoy love or affection or sex, too, right?

hahahaha u should have told him why u laughed!!!

haha...talk about a low blow...sorry ur first time was a disaster but on the bright side "more practice" will eventually make u a pro

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melly is fine

aww thanks Mub!

agreed with mub haha that's a funny name muuuub tee hee;)

damn you are sexy, I bet I'd be better than any of the times you've had sex;)

What is with the people without pics, who can't type a sentence with a capital letter, and the fact that they keep hitting on random girls that they will probably never meet?

We're sorry :(

@Melly's original post - if she was very nervous I can see where the laughter came from. (On a side note the pain thing really does depend on the girl, there are various different reasons it hurts/doesn't hurt.) Back to original fml - Though I'd heard that the girl laughing makes it even better for the guy...just saying.

ahh np where yo from

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awsome post lol and sexy pic

ew mub, that's a pedophile move :P

I agree I can't see why anyone would laugh their first time cause I know my first hurt like a bitch xp and to original fml that happens when I have sex with my bf too hahahaha

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Yeah because you can speak for everyone else, yes? Oh, that's right, no you can't. Some girls are lucky and don't get so much pain, whereas others aren't so lucky. I think it mostly depends on anatomy(/physiology) of the individual in question because everyone's slightly different.

It doesn't hurt for everyone...

@213 the pain comes from a combination of tightness/whether or not your hymen is already broken. The hymen is a little film of skin that covers the vagina, and sometimes the guy sort of needs to "break" his way in If it's the girls first time, and there can be some pain and bleeding. (hense the term popping the cherry.) A lot of girls have their hymens torn from things such as tampons, horse back riding, gymnastics etc at a young age so that's probably why sex wouldn't hurt for some chicks when they lose their virginity. Just saying.

Don't spread the hymen myth. It's not a thin film of skin covering the vagina (it only is when it's abnormal). If there was skin covering the entrance, how do you imagine blood comes out when girls have their periods? It's a little ridge on the edge of the vagina and under no circumstance does it have to pop or tear. It's even preferable when it doesn't tear, it tears when the girl wasn't ready for sex yet, you know not wet enough.

Haha, it was kinda of your fault for laughing... Why do people think they're creative or cool for sneaking a way to say "FIRST!!!"