By JiggaJayZ - 29/10/2012 18:10 - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 675
You deserved it 29 201

JiggaJayZ tells us more.

Nope she's prego. Broken condom. And we even took a morning after and that didn't work so yeah FML

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It's not completely her fault. It takes two to tango.

Wrap it before you tap it! Why would anyone have a half birthday?


Reeserr 3

That's a surprise

caplox 6

Well duh. It's a present.

Well it's one hell of a present lol

crazytwinsmom 25

Not so much a surprise if they didn't take precautions

Yeah, and I bet he doesn't even have one of those yet!

What do you get for the guy who has everything he ever wanted? Something he doesn't want.

ozone9914 2

Never consider abortion cus that sh1t is not right

It's not completely her fault. It takes two to tango.

But it takes one to adopt. We need more info

unknown_user5566 26

19- I'm fairly certain that it is EXTREMELY hard to adopt a child by yourself. I think it's safe to assume that OP's girlfriend is pregnant.

24- it's hard to adopt by yourself? Well, ****, there goes my plan -.-

Actually, 24 is correct, it is extremely difficult to adopt a child by yourself. It is possible, but it's difficult, just like (and please don't hate on me for saying this, I'm not trying to be hateful I'm just stating facts) it is very hard for gay/lesbian couples to adopt. Adoption agencies are all about a "full natural home expierence" for adopted children. Sadly, they don't think that single parents and/or same-sex couples fit that description.

SApprentice 34

63- It is more difficult for single parents to adopt children. Networking agencies that help with adoptions are less supportive of single parents. A single parent, at least in my state, is not allowed to have a live-in boyfriend or girlfriend if they have a child in their house, and the agencies themselves tend to frown upon the potential parent having a romantic relationship at all. A lot of single parents get stuck seeking out private adoption agencies and have to pay more than most just to get their child. Not all of them of course, but there's no denying the process poses more difficulty for single parents. On the bright side there are a lot of groups that try to help raise funds for parents to adopt, so sometimes people can get help.

unknown_user5566 26

66/67- Exactly. I wasn't saying it's impossible, but since agencies likely prefer orphans to go to 2 parent homes, it'd definitely be more difficult.

CrassKal 27

Well she could have been more tactful with her telling him.

unknown_user5566 26

76- Was I rude? I didn't intend to come off that way. I just stated my opinion. It's not like I called him an idiot or anything.

Nope she's prego. Broken condom. And we even took a morning after and that didn't work so yeah FML

JellyBalls 18

Worse things have happened, at least thats how I try to look at it. Sorry but step up and be a great father, and always spend time with your children, thats the most important thing.

skyeyez9 24

My best friend got his gf pregnant when he was 17. They kept the baby and today (he is 32) and doing well in life. He remarried and had two more kids. Please don't think having a child will "ruin your life."

It's entirely subjective. Personally, I think having a child at my age would drive me insane and completely throw off my focus on my studies.

79- I think 76 was talking about OP and her boyfriend, not you.

courtneyann211 10

86- morning after pill doesn't work! I found that out the hard way, also after a broken condom! But now I've got almost 4 month old twins out of it! :)

79- I think 76 was talking about OP and her boyfriend, not you, but I could be mistaken.

I like OPs bio, "waiting for the right one" sucks to be you.

110 - right I've just been too lazy to change it since I met my girlfriend.

Damn, rough. That's a really messed up way to share the news...

decidedlyvague 11

She probably stole it.

#137 - You haven't been paying attention, have you?

79. Calm down psycho. 76 was talking about OP's girlfriend

How old is she? What kind of birthdays are you celebrating?

Chris20003 17

If it helps I have 1 kid and one on the way, they are a lot of fun. Good luck to you though, we were in the same situation.

banshee88 18

How'd everything work out?

Wrap it before you tap it! Why would anyone have a half birthday?

A half birthday is 6 months before your actual birthday.

Thank you Captain obvious.

unknown_user5566 26

23- S/he didn't ask "what" a half birthday was, s/he asked "why" someone would have it. I've known people who have small celebrations for their half birthday. I think it's just a reason to get together with friends and have a small celebration.

30 - That's why I celebrate my half birthday. Sometimes half anniversaries. My half anniversary for my wedding lands on Christmas day :)

My father's birthday is three days after my half birthday, so if I'm visiting him during then they'll mount my name on the cake too. I don't get presents though, which isn't a big deal, but it's still fun(:

I also usually participate in the celebration of quarter and third birthdays, to further celebrate my existence.

I celebrate my unbirthdays.

Half celebrations are stupid. And OP you should have been going in the back door instead.

perdix 29

Half birthdays are fantastic!!! This year my half birthday was much funner than my integer birthday!

84 - Unbirth? Sounds terrifying.

Some people who have birthdays near big holidays have half birthdays so they don't feel jipped on it being special and on gifts.

MiloBear 11

I know someone who celebrates her month birthdays. She doesn't do anything big, but if you see her and don't wish her "Happy four month birthday", "Happy seven month birthday" or whatever then she gets upset.

143, your "friend" is a self centered attention *****.

143: dear god how do you cope with her? She sounds like a handful.

@143: She sounds like a self-centered twat

#32 My half anniversary is Christmas Day also...awesome!

nelds 12

Half birthday? We should seriously celebrate this.

I, as a student with little money, disagree entirely.

101 - I, as a student who receives money on her birthday, agree entirely with this notion.

sleepinginclass 8

Instead of half birthday, I like half Christmas! Except egg nog is hard to find in the summer.

That doesn't count as a gift. You paid for half of it.

Not yet, not yet...but he must certainly will.

And will CONTINUE to pay for half of it...

StalkerChick 13

Assuming its his baby...

62: Even if its not his, he's still paying for half of the interest and fees.

I never thought about it like that

That's one way to come out with it I guess? Congratulations though, you most likely had a part in it so you're responsible too :P But you have something to say about it any way probably

You're hot but your bio is just one giant bad cliche that makes me want to choke myself with a sock.

Half birthday? If it was your full birthday, maybe you'd have gotten twins!

crazytwinsmom 25

So that's how that works?!

nerdyfreak 7

both of my children (not twins) are concieved on my birthday... so .. probably not

yeyah3 2

Haha today's my half birthday too! April 29th ^.^

Would you like half a cake?

Half bday is so stupid.

SApprentice 34

13- Can I have the other half?

April 29th is the best :) I can't do half birthdays because my boyfriend's birthday was yesterday lol.

yeyah3 2

That'd be lovely!

zingline89 18

I can't believe she adopted a baby without consulting with you. How irresponsible.

lovelymonkey39 5

Do you not realize that she didn't adopt it... She's pregnant?

zingline89 18


Did you realize he was joking

Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

Wow! What an idiot^^^

CONGRATULATIONS!! you are (probably) the father of a baby boy or girl!

SApprentice 34

12- The child doesn't have to be just a boy or girl, though. About 1% of live births in humans display varying degrees of ambiguity between the sexes. There's many ways that the human body can present itself at birth- the "normal" boy and girl are just the most common.

12 did say •probably•

SApprentice 34

81- It seems to me though that they meant that in referral to him probably being the baby's father, not the sex of the child. It doesn't matter though. I wasn't trying to be bothersome or anything, but I can see how my comment was unnecessary.

"You just gave birth to a...oh my god...A BIEBER?!?!"

"Congratulations, You are (probably) the father to a baby boy/girl/birl/goy/it !" Not quite the same ring.