Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me...

By Anonymous - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

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Miscellaneous

Out of it

Family values

Impatience

By TheThirdWheel

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML

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By Jim - 25/12/2020 02:01

Life choices

Today, my mom is coming to pick up the Christmas presents we got for her and her husband. She won’t come inside or come within 6 feet, so she can be healthy when she goes down to the ex-wife’s parents house to hang out. The ex in-laws that hate me. Glad my mom chose them over me. FML

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947

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104

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By hungry - Canada - Halifax

Parenting gone feral

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

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1309

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By birdhater - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

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25768

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By peacechick25 - United States

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

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By curly_eyelashes - Canada - Windsor

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

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27728

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By pop - France

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

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40809

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By hanzastfu - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

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By yuuupyup - United States - Somerset

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

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By pokeOww

Dash!

Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML

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By Noname - Canada

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

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35099

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By Anonymous - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Draper

Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML

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11618

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By oww - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

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By sasha625

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

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792

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By hoody - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

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32387

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By mannnnn2717 - Australia

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

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12783

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80969

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By unknown002 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

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11178

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By Littlebigben

Today, I found a cellphone. I went through the contacts and called the one listed as 'dad' to inform them I could leave it at a cash register of the store I found it in or take it to the police station so they could pick it up. They then called the police, insisting I stole it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5554

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318

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By das_shizzle - 2/5/2020 05:00

Entitled bitch

Today, after telling a student that she had to take the online test on the date that I had assigned, she whined to the vice president of the college, who then told my dean that he needed to do something about it. She made me offer testing days on multiple dates. So much for integrity. FML

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1590

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By barfyshirt - United States

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

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37681

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By Groomzilla? - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

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35800

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By pissed - 12/10/2020 04:59

F is for Family

Today, I came home to find my husband’s disgusting pig of a sister let herself in while we were at work and decided to take a nap in our bed. Not only did she not ask to visit, she left a huge smelly period stain on my favorite sheets. No apology, no attempt to clean up. I didn’t give her a key. FML

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1424

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By FML - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

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By KnowledgableEx - United States - Baltimore

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

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By mmvv - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

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29326

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By ohcrap - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

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49365

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By Bullet - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45141

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By evomadrid24 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

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31086

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By Tgreject - United States

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41381

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By mammasboy - United States - Springfield

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56798

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By fatandsad - United States

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27001

You deserved it

9946

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By thisreallyhappened - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63637

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3948

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By geeklove - United States

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34638

You deserved it

7466

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By EFFED4LIFE - United States

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59974

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By camille - United States

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27262

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By shampoogirl - United States

Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31990

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By mcase - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

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31129

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Top comments

By Duladian | 19

#5095119 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:41

Happens to all of us. Just sucks when it does

By zingline89 | 18

#5095167 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:47

That happened to me once. Except it was at the zoo. And it was a gorilla that waved at me. He was not as friendly up close.

COMMENTS

By Duladian | 19

#5095119 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:41

Happens to all of us. Just sucks when it does

onlychildFTW | 33

#5095851 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:41

I don't know if it happens to all of us. But I would assume its awkward and very embarrassing.

xSonic | 9

#5096699 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:42

He was talking to all of US. Not you. See 36, it just happened to you (:

Emma Marshall | 19

#7640125 - Monday 28 May 2018 11:39

I don't think this happens to all of us lol.

By halzmac | 5

#5095129 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:42

Oh no. I hope you got out of there as fast as possible! :p

By Reeserr | 3

#5095132 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:42

Awkward...

MelTheGreat | 23

#5095284 - Monday 29 October 2012 23:10

So is this comment.

EverestMelting | 23

#5096221 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 3:45

^ So was that one.

By fadingaway | 17

#5095147 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:44

That sucks. Hopefully he was nice enough to see it was just an honest mistake and laugh it off. Props for having the confidence to approach him.

By MURIKKA | 11

#5095154 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:44

That's a shame, the food court would've been such a romantic place for you two to hit it off.

gc327072 | 29

#5095200 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:51

"You like pizza?! OMG me too!!!1!!1!"

Yep, plenty of soulmates in the food court.

Duladian | 19

#5095219 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:56

Soul food. Soul mates. Hey it could work!

Parky03 | 9

#5095498 - Monday 29 October 2012 23:59

Your not truly American if you don't like pizza.

the_smart_way | 10

#5096133 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 3:07

There goes that stereotype rearing it's ugly head again

By cheekyterier | 13

#5095158 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:45

give him your number anyway...they'll break up eventually

Axipiter | 24

#5095179 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:48

Haha! Especially after the "Who the hell was that!?" conversation that most likely ensued!

Vball6 | 19

#5095223 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:57

Yeah, just walk up to a random guy who was calling his girlfriend and hand him your number, sounds smart.

How can you be so sure they'll break up anyway? Omg.

ambear26 | 14

#5095788 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:18

You don't even know them..... How do you know they will break up?

cheekyterier | 13

#5097115 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 11:42

well, all's fair in love and war.

_wraith | 15

#5097595 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 16:05

45 - you're fourteen. What do you know about love or war?

mjacv2 | 5

#5099846 - Wednesday 31 October 2012 5:40

Duh! She has seen a lot of movies...

By zingline89 | 18

#5095167 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:47

That happened to me once. Except it was at the zoo. And it was a gorilla that waved at me. He was not as friendly up close.

crazytwinsmom | 25

#5095230 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:58

My favorite comment yet!

KrazieKleo | 13

#5095823 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:31

Gorilla? Fuck I thought that was my uncle the whole time :(.

By AH1Zviper | 15

#5095175 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:47

Just go ahead and pretend you were going to say hi to your boyfriend. " Oh, you were saying hi to your girlfriend? Sorry, I was waving hi to my boyfriend... Who's waaaayyyy over there."

By hapy_pig098 | 13

#5095181 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:48

Let me guess no love life i bet you wanna be kristin stewart right now

AH1Zviper | 15

#5099379 - Wednesday 31 October 2012 2:11

Who in their right mind would want to be kristen stewart? She's the justin bieber of movies. That and the sparkly fairy.

By kyleekay | 25

#5095188 - Monday 29 October 2012 22:49

That's why you never walk up to a random person who you suspect is staring at you. In my experience, the person who I thought was looking at me usually never was.

Parky03 | 9

#5095505 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 0:01

Then you need a prettier face...

I get stared at more than enough...

kyleekay | 25

#5095627 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 0:28

I'm sure you do.

maosquare | 18

#5095763 - Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:08

Let me introduce you to my friend, Whom. He's nice and sweet but yet, he's always neglected by many.