Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
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Top comments
Transfusion 8
Should've told your boss why you were leaving and he would've understood.
Omfgitsmia 15
Why not tell your boss you had to take care of something with your child?
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Comments (73)
Transfusion 8
Should've told your boss why you were leaving and he would've understood.
andyyroxx 20
Rightly so, but may have been quite embarrassing - not to mention the lack of info OP gives us. Got a suspension for leaving just once?
perdix 29
#1, not in this case. Taking your chances with sneaking out is preferable to letting your boss know that your kid has access to copious amounts of sex lube. He might get the wrong idea ... or maybe the right idea ;)
warturtle 14
you couldn't Slip out on that one, OP
mojo5678 5
He wouldn't have to tell him exactly why.. Just that his son got in some trouble at school
DanielleinDC 33
No, all he has to do is say, my idiot son got into trouble at school, and I have to go pick him up. He doesn't have to say what his son was doing. And really, OP, you should have told your boss that you had to leave early. YDI.
tjv3 10
No wonder your kid is a bloody wanker at school and doesn't follow the rules . Look at the example that is set
annihil8or 15
Obviously you wouldn't word itime that when taking to your boss, or anyone else.
SneakishMonk 2
Like father, like son !
ambitiousnygrl 17
OP never specifies whether they're the mom or dad.
Mischief109 11
No, but the gender icon does
sig4life 18
I guess we know where he got the glide from....... At least they were caught only gliding down the hall.
lilledun 11
The app has a gender icon, but #7 could have overseen it
PleadingInsanity 20
Actually, the app on my phone doesn't show the gender or category.
Omfgitsmia 15
Why not tell your boss you had to take care of something with your child?
Kitten_Calderon 14
Next time tell your boss. But FYL about your son
poodle_juice 17
Perhaps they're practicing for future corridor sliding?
LiveLoveBeatles 19
It could be a new Olympic sport. Ya never know
syki 22
As long as they remember that the smaller the space, the more work it'll take to slide in smooth.
warsun 27
If not then bobsleigh will be their chance
phatdaddy62 23
If your son is covered in Astro glide, you've got more to worry about than him sliding down the hall!
chanellgymnast 17
Introduce your boss to Astroglide and slide down the hallway at work. Sounds like it's time for Employee Appreciation Day anyway.
Coop817 19
I hear Astrogliding is an up am coming sport
AhmandahAnarchy 5
Astrogliding: The American version of curling.
BadApple88 29
Sneaking out of work is never a good idea
sugarshane007 20
Well look on the bright side. Spend some time with your son, and the suspension should just glide on by.