Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
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Top comments
Transfusion 8
Should've told your boss why you were leaving and he would've understood.
Omfgitsmia 15
Why not tell your boss you had to take care of something with your child?
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Comments (73)
WWstar 9
holy cow, at least they didn't can ur behind.
RicanGata91 7
Im pretty sure he would have understood and let you go with permission dude next time ask
Taurus_ChicKa 36
YDI for picking up your stupid son AND for sneaking out of work to do it. You should have talked to your boss and then returned home after picking him up, but really, you shouldn't have picked his sorry ass up at all. Make him walk home, or slide home with the Astroglide. I can't fathom why you would try to sneak out of work and risk your job for that stupid of a reason...
svahrsrdacwby87 7
I voted YDI because you should have told your boss that your son was suspended and that you needed to pick him up from school.
Shazam25 7
YDI. Explain the situation that your kid was suspended from school and you needed to go pick him up. Unless you've got the biggest douchebag as a boss, you'll be picking your kid up and not getting suspended yourself.
melik90 3
There must be something seriously wrong with bosses in the US that people prefer to sneak out rather than talk to them. I've recently been told by my boss to stay at home because I was coughing very hard, even tho there was nothing else wrong with me and I felt perfectly capable of doing my work.
mainlineloser 9
your son is the coolest
ashwowa 14
haha! that's awesome!
ReiracsNeve 17
Colorado, folks.
Freshie01___ 6
YDI for having a job