Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (260)
krez 20
I guess to be fair you have to knock her up now. Many women choose to give birth multiple times, whereas most men avoid getting kicked in the balls again. However, I just read an article that women tend to remember positive things more clearly, but men tend to remember the details of negative things better.
hermitknut 22
I've always heard that the pain of giving birth fades from your mind very quickly (or is supposed to) so that women don't fear getting pregnant again, which makes sense. Don't know what the science behind it is, though.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
49- you're right, the body gives off a natural anesthesia.
desireev 18
This could be me just being mushy-gushy about my son, but I think it's seeing your beautiful baby for the first time that makes you forget all the pain. I can remember that I had a harsh labor. But I don't remember too much of the labor part. I just remember seeing Garrett for the first time and thinking that he is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen before.
Schizomaniac 24
149- "It was selected for by the environment" is no more a scientific explanation than 49's is. That's more of a brief (and somewhat inaccurate) elaboration of 49's comment.
purpleskullcandy 7
Fyl. But you can get a pain reliever for birth. You can't get one for your balls.
KilljoyParade 4
Well. There's Advil! :D No? Oh well.
anthonydude 9
Take it like a man. I've gotten kicked and punched in the ball so often that it really doesn't hurt me as much anymore.
modernbenoni 8
Are you seriously implying that being hit in the balls more makes you more of a man?
Ins0mau 20
The question is, can you still have kids now though?
bertoelmexicano 6
Are you implying that you only have one ********?
WordSmyth 2
Must be nothing but a sack of sand down there now. Maracas when you walk.
ICATiger 13
How does she know getting kicked in the balls hurts more.... Unless? Oh god no!!!!
Yaruzu 3
Wait what do you mean I don't get....OH GOD NO!
fmessiah 19
shove an American football or rugby ball up her and see if she cries less or more than you.
fmessiah 19
what, kicking him in the balls to prove her point is ok, but foreign object insertion is too much?
eastsidesoldier 7
Getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot but it goes away pretty quick
ReadALLDemLettrz 1
But it still hurts alot..
princess151617 4
Pregnancy lasts for hours. Girls win. I would have kick the guy in the balls too.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
52. pregnancy is much easier to measure in months, not hours :/
tymarie2012 31
I think 52 meant the actual labor last a few hours.
justalilrandom2 4
I found an earlier comment saying the same thing, my bad.
diesel1226 0
Force her to watch videos of women giving birth.
theWINDOWmonster 3
Ow, my robot balls!! (reference to Eurotrip, I think it was)
ScarletBloom 14
She kicked your balls so that she doesn't has to suffer the pain of giving birth. Smart girl.
ScarletBloom 14
*have
Michael_92 20
Yea cause condoms and birth control are stupid. Let's just get kicked in balls for the solution...yeah. No.