Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
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Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
El_it_means_tha 0
Baaahahahaha
bjcr8978 0
Giving birth hurts more because of how long it takes
bubo_fml 11
Which is more painful? Giving birth or passing a meal from Taco Bell through the digestive tract?
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
How would either of you be able to compare the two to each other you only know what one feels like
Snafuusmc 12
Give her anal yknow? Just shove it in and go to work! That ought to teach her!
Tdevonner 0
Well lets see...certain pains such as gall stones areusually said to be worse than child birth...so if a sack attack is more painful than stones, we havea winner. If not lets just find out what gender neutral pains hurt more than or less than the gender specifc ones n compare n contrast. Yay:-)
batrob 7
Did she kiss them better?
ImDB8 0
Actually getting kicked in the balls has been proven to be up to 600 times more painful than giving birth
MatthewDmerrill 5
Getting kicked in the balls hurts more because after a few months Or years a woman would say she wants another baby but you don't hear guys saying I want to get kicked in the balls again.
armywife0609 4
Seriously I'll say it does suck that she kicked you because she was just being a bitch if she cares for you at all she wouldn't of done that at all thats messed up.