Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
Inheritance 10
There's a reason why girls give birth because they can tolerate my pain while guys would die during the process so I'm pretty sure girls when this..
UnleashedKilla1 4
Time for: Make up sex, starring: Guy with bruised ballsack.
audiophileMom 11
81 - even with an epidural it hurts. Because that wears off eventually.
Jigga3 21
Bitches be loco
brohamas16 7
well she obviously doesn't know that a straight kick to the nads will do some damage too
shannonreneee 11
You only get the drugs at a certain point. You still have to endure contractions for a decent period of time.
rdrr 2
Any woman that kicks you in the nuts deserves a punch in the face.
FrankHotpants 31
That's no joke, no woman should think they can just do that and get away with it. Female or not I would of gave that bitch a spartan kick across the living room. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean no one can hit you. I believe in equal opportunity so if you can hit me then you've just agreed to get hit back. Or you can do what the other guy said and knock her up then dump her and join the navy. You won't have to see her again and you won't have to worry about any hospital fees.
PaulB123 11
Sentence fragment, the* instead of my, win* instead of when, and making unusually stupid claims with no evidence*.
jackgoldstein 5
Take your own advice, 60