Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
MattZAX 9
Actually getting kicked in the balls hurts more, giving birth is like breaking twenty bones at the same time but getting kick in the balls is like breaking three hundred bone simultaneously.
xxGhost_Wolfxx 2
Hey look someone who knows shit.
Tdevonner 0
Actually I think you could break just one bone ahem ....the beloved penile fracture
hateevryone 15
now you know
imdementedkid 0
Will she be able now to even get pregnant?
flufflybuttons 4
balls hurt more why bc we dont ask if we can do it again a year later
franwins0827 7
Passing kidney stones hurts more than giving birth. Ask any woman who has done both.
xJackson 1
First of all your choice was wrong.
remz89 3
As someone who just recently gave birth, I would say birth only due to the fact that labour can be very long. I was blessed for. 3 hour labour but some ppl are in labour for over 24 hours. I also wasn't able to get any medicine so I went natural and my daughter tore me, so imagine ripping frm your crotch to ur butt hole and then getting stitches that makes you unable to walk for about a week. However I won't say getting kicked in the balls is a piece of cake, sorry op, hope u feel better
maglistate 0
maybe she just doesn't want kids
attatood 8
Getting kicked in the balls HAS to hurt more. After giving birth, women still want to have another kid, but who the hell wants to get kicked in the balls a second time???
Gondile 4
Giving birth does not hurt at all.... If you do it right. It's been shown now that every women has a special position they can be in to give birth, whether it is standing up or arching their body. Lawsuits and investigations are under way as the current position women use is THE MOST PAINFUL. Also: never push. It actually doesn't do anything good but instead can cause things such as vaginal tearing. So yeah, getting kicked in the balls hurts more.