Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
iceman420son 7
Wtf thats stupid
Lililthx 7
Getting kicked in the balls : 12 seconds (pain lasts a couple of minutes?) Giving birth : can last 8 hours. OK.
desireev 18
8 hours? Pssh! My labor lasted 31 hours!!
BradleysMommie 0
:D mine lasted 25!(:
xxGhost_Wolfxx 2
The pain lasts longer than just a couple minutes. I've only been punched (not very hard mind you) and the pain lasted a lot longer than a couple minutes. Now that multiplied by how hard someone can kick... Nightmarish. My point is, you don't know the pain of it nor will you ever. So don't judge pain factors if you don't know.
rubberduckie94 13
Eight hours??? Really? Most of us wish. my labor was 48 hours only five of which did I have an epidural. Despite hard labor I would not progress.
yusaku02 20
Only 31 hours? I was a 50 hour birth coupled with a C-section.
desireev 18
Yeah! That's what I'm saying! I got lucky with 31 hours! There are many more women who labor for much longer than 31 hours! I got really lucky! My mom was in labor with my brother for 93 hours.. That was BAAAAD!!
sugarbear0727 19
I am so glad that mine only last 24. But from the time the doctor started getting me ready to start pushing, and my son being born, took about 10 minutes. Four pushes and he was out. Just under 5lbs, but still excruciatingly painful.
Osito2011 9
Your should kick her in the ****** with your fist!
Fus_Ro_Dah 2
Kick with fist ?
mikki_love_chuu 0
Agreed. How do you kick with your fist?
Metashock 20
**** Punt!
toelie 26
Giving birth hurts more simply cause it lasts so much longer, but after getting kicked in the balls you don't get a baby that makes it worthwhile.
miZscrZee 0
Wow, that's sucks..I would never kick/hit my boyfriend in the balls..
OptimusKali 0
I don't think any man deserves to get kicked in the balls on purpose.
datgamerchick 14
What if you were being raped?
Inheritance 10
Well really it depends if you're on drugs to kill the pain while having birth or if it's just plain natural birth
willisawesome 0
I'm just glad being kicked in the balls doesn't go on for days.
BronyVasNormandy 12
Although this argument will never be able to truly end, I will say that there aren't many things that can make a full-grown man fall to the floor in pain. Even though I would assume giving birth hurts more, I don't think women will ever be able to fully comprehend just how much a kick to the balls hurts.
crazyblackchick 0
Get her pregnant, then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.