Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
nicolangelo 5
******* sock that bitch in the mouth.
bubo_fml 11
Everyone is failing to factor in how much of a pain in the ass that kid will be for the next 18 years!
midpocket 6
Just to prevent that she has to go through the pain of giving birth, I like her style.
twilightluvr101 4
op ur username made me literally lol
ChelsiiBabee 5
Child birth is the second most painful thing to experience in this world, behind being burned alive.
sugarbear0727 19
Exactly! I asked the doctors and nurses when I was in the hospital after my water broke. They all said being burned alive was the only thing more painful than childbirth.
rubyliu8420 7
Punch that bitch in the face!
Locoluis 15
YDI. That debate is stupid in the first place. 1. Qualia. Look it up. Everyone experiences sensations differently. Pain, for example. 2. Has any man ever died from a kick in the balls? Women still can die during childbirth, you know. 3. Who started that debate? If it was you, YDI for being a misogynist jerk. If it was her, for some reason she wanted an excuse to kick you in the balls anyways, and you should dump that psycho. No, wait. Dump her anyways. Whoever fault was this, it's only a symptom of something that you two should have realized already: IT'S OVER.
Listerinekiss_fml 7
It sounds like your girlfriend was just looking for an excuse to kick you in the balls. Sorry op.
aron666 25
Now you should impregnate her, to find out...
friedeggyolive 7
That's the dumbest argument ever; everyone knows giving birth is one of the most painful experiences known to humankind.