Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
Vaginabutter 15
if you do some googling, some genius actually discovered geting kicked in the ball does have a higher pain level, but is shorter time than giving birth.
UnleashedKilla1 4
Love the name bro.
thiscrazything 1
******
laden_swallow09 35
Then say nothing and only LOOK like a dumbass.
AceArctic 4
Giving birth probably hurts more, but happens less often than getting kicked in the balls, so it all evens out.
theladyofepic 3
Even if they somehow did hurt the same amount, which is not true, giving birth can last for hours or days- my brother forgets he's even been kicked in the balls within the hour. Women can and do die in childbirth- mostly guys cry a bit, maybe throw up and then move on. (Women's hipbones force themselves out of socket for this- it hurts.)
laden_swallow09 35
I thought passing a kidney stone was just as painful — if not worse than — birth…?
MsMeiriona 2
Kidney stone is said to be the worst pain either gender can experience, far worse than childbirth.
CRC_101 31
Yes, feel free to slap anyone who says that kidney stones aren't nearly as bad as childbirth. Lightly. Slap lightly. I'm generally against violence.
horizontalline 18
Both are awful. End of story.
Akharr01 5
How would you know.....?
immaMonsta 8
Wow, I would never kick my boyfriend in the balls, no matter how mad I was. FYL OP for having a girlfriend that had her cake and got to eat it too.
volleyballgirly 0
She wanted you to change your mind so she was right.