Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my teenage son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML
Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about isn't real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
But aquarium gravel is tough and gritty! If your novel is a mystery, I think that was a great compliment. Wait a second...it's also really disgusting and slimy and smells like dead fish...
ycrem0n 21
Aquarium gravel? Sniffing boot polish? In that case, I suggest you write erotic literature instead..
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Comments (150)
TriztenJ 0
Well im sure they said some stuff bout shakespeare... Maybe they arent very good at literature "/
Nemle22 4
You asked. They answered. Now go rewrite.
FarscapeSDC 9
I write in my spare time to entertain myself. I asked one of my friends to read the first chapter of a novel I was writing, and she insulted me by saying the worst possible thing she could have. She said....... "It's almost as bad as Twilight." Suffice to say, I burnt the chapter in shame and started again, she likes the new version better. Apparently a story about monster hunters is instantly made better by setting it in the Roman empire, transforming the main characters from regular blokes to lesbian vampires, and changing the story to include magic. OP, you shouldn't compromise your work for what other people want, but if EVERYONE hates something, you should change it. Hint hint, Stephanie Meyer. (P.S. I know a lot of people like twilight, but seeing as reading it causes you to drop about 30 IQ points, I don't think we should take the opinions of those Twi-hards too seriously)
hallix 21
Ah, you must be the author of 50 Shades of Gray!
xrudeboyrock 29
Your friends clearly have a way with words, maybe you should ask them for help on the second draft.
BVBARMY1238 9
37, OP means Original Poster
gingerface81 16
Still better then Twilight
rubberduck_of_doom 31
At least they're honest. I mean they could've expressed their dislike a little less hurtfull but I think it's better for them to tell you their real opinion instead of straight out lying to you and telling you how great of a writer you are. Next time ask for constructive critícism though. Ask them why they didn't like it and how you could improve it. Don't scrap you're first draft! Improve on it! Writing is hard so don't give up. It's something you can practice like everything else! Start with short stories and see how people like them. Then go back to your novel and rewrite it the way you want it. Don't give up!!!