Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster...

By Shanarie - 5/10/2015 15:40 - United States

Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster drying after hand washing it. I learned that it dries much faster when torn into several pieces, courtesy a stray dog that randomly appeared at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23892

You deserved it

5149

Favorite

Shanarie tells us more :

OP here. I made an account just to respond to you guys! I live in the country, so I figured making a small clothes line for just my dress wouldn't be a problem.I guess it was just bad timing.The dog was an abandoned pet that was malnourished. Im a shelter volunteer, so we took him to a good home. :)

Animals

Season finale

Extreme late fees

All for nothing

By Anonymous - 14/4/2012 19:27 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26304

You deserved it

2225

Favorite

By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/7/2020 02:02

Hypocrisy

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1302

You deserved it

145

Favorite

By kids say the darnedest things - 19/7/2014 02:56 - United States - Denver

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50179

You deserved it

7084

Favorite

By Michelle - 15/8/2011 08:15 - United States

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19148

You deserved it

23091

Favorite

By myleghurts - 12/11/2012 06:50 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30323

You deserved it

3475

Favorite

By alone_forever - 4/3/2009 21:03 - United States

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks

77686

You deserved it

7815

Favorite

By Goaway - 14/8/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40575

You deserved it

10745

Favorite

By StillTooYoung - 20/1/2013 13:13 - United States - Louisville

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37631

You deserved it

5176

Favorite

By shitfaced - 18/9/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22554

You deserved it

9377

Favorite

By feeling single - 28/10/2015 19:48 - United States - Burbank

Today, it's been so long since I heard from him, I had to look at my boyfriend's Facebook page to see if we're still in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23329

You deserved it

5085

Favorite

By walnutbladder - 7/1/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31715

You deserved it

4057

Favorite

By speechless - 1/6/2013 00:50 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52984

You deserved it

6072

Favorite

By toeloezz - 26/9/2016 18:02 - Netherlands

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11944

You deserved it

1230

Favorite

By sharky - 20/1/2012 21:17 - United States

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12504

You deserved it

45585

Favorite

By Disney - 18/2/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38071

You deserved it

8383

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 16:28 - United States

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26107

You deserved it

8138

Favorite

By laundry day again... - 8/9/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45622

You deserved it

3517

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/3/2014 17:31 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43486

You deserved it

3528

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 11:45 - United States - Monroe

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47364

You deserved it

2683

Favorite

By OhFseriously123 - 6/8/2009 10:05 - Italy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks

72285

You deserved it

13554

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/1/2010 05:22 - United States

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33767

You deserved it

14063

Favorite

By Boothater - 3/4/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12500

You deserved it

59908

Favorite

By Hunter Ferguson - 31/7/2018 13:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3685

You deserved it

233

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/4/2013 01:14 - United States - Pearland

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51856

You deserved it

8316

Favorite

By Cassidy - 8/10/2011 16:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13282

You deserved it

35590

Favorite

By Kat - 31/8/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30114

You deserved it

5675

Favorite

By sirensaresexy - 24/7/2012 13:54 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25743

You deserved it

9027

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/7/2016 00:56 - Canada - Concord

Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13072

You deserved it

1534

Favorite

By Aciliveth - 10/6/2010 16:07 - Canada

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43965

You deserved it

4422

Favorite

By types - 2/3/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25986

You deserved it

3604

Favorite

By PerturbedStudent - 9/12/2015 23:42 - United States - Keller

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22520

You deserved it

1628

Favorite

By sydysyd - 21/11/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20410

You deserved it

53797

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/1/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23172

You deserved it

7846

Favorite

By bellabreeze - 9/8/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26009

You deserved it

3320

Favorite

By unlicensed - 1/8/2012 16:20 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25081

You deserved it

9365

Favorite

By uglyswimmer - 23/4/2009 01:58 - United States

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57399

You deserved it

7692

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/5/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58585

You deserved it

9426

Favorite

By For - 28/12/2010 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31544

You deserved it

6974

Favorite

By nyx - 27/9/2014 08:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41423

You deserved it

3663

Favorite

By SadFoxLady - 10/6/2013 18:01 - United States - Des Moines

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37726

You deserved it

55465

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ohSNAPyall | 26

#6427798 - Monday 5 October 2015 22:43

Was it red? Flapping in the wind, like a matador flag?

By UncleCaitlyn | 21

#6428040 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 6:10

I have a dark sense of humor but that's a little much

COMMENTS

By The_Basileus | 9

#6427790 - Monday 5 October 2015 22:38

That really sucks.

davidpropert | 32

#6427802 - Monday 5 October 2015 22:45

There's a button for that, silly goose

MonstreBelle | 28

#6427843 - Monday 5 October 2015 23:27

3- Get your animals right. The_Basileus is clearly a silly cat, not a silly goose!

DraconicFeline | 31

#6427967 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 3:41

14: No, no--he's a grumpy cat, not a silly cat.

By ohSNAPyall | 26

#6427798 - Monday 5 October 2015 22:43

Was it red? Flapping in the wind, like a matador flag?

juggalo2 | 13

#6427839 - Monday 5 October 2015 23:23

Dogs are color blind, and do not respond to red flags. Source: Encyclopedia Brown

vikky538 | 28

#6427840 - Monday 5 October 2015 23:23

Yes guessed it right

NomeDMF | 17

#6427858 - Monday 5 October 2015 23:59

Dogs can see several colors.

MonstreBelle | 28

#6427867 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 0:11

12- Dogs aren't colorblind in the sense that they see everything in black and white. They just can't see all of the colors that people are capable of seeing. Plus, the color of the dress wouldn't stop the dog from being able to see the movement of the it with the wind blowing

Ichiya | 29

#6428004 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:00

Bulls don't respond to red either. They attack because of the movement and the color is for show.

By pixierara | 28

#6427803 - Monday 5 October 2015 22:45

I hope you didn't need it anytime really soon. It's really terrible that $200 was just torn up by a stray but hopefully you can get another one.

klutz44 | 28

#6427949 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 2:37

Next time, Rent the Runway. $30 will get you a designer dress and you just mail it back after you wear it, no washing required.

Shanarie | 11

#6428022 - Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:42

I actually just used it for an event, so luckily that was out of the way. Next time around, I'll either rent one or send my new one to the dry cleaners. Lol. Or just hang it up inside.