Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
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Top comments
_whyme_o 12
I think you should see your doctor, because that's not normal :o
Wizardo 34
You should really go to a specialist for this, it could be a serious problem down the line.
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Comments (226)
ComoEsJuan 24
OP's uterus: "I NEED TO SHED MY LINING FOREVER!"
thespiantess 18
OP's uterus might be trying to subtly escape her body
False_Stupidity 42
Well, its not being very subtle about it...
Stuffaluffagus 25
You know you can still have sex on your period right?
rae_siah_3x 17
But who wants to? The smell has got to be horrible.
zgomon 10
A period only stops a sentence. Nothing more.
Norvi 26
I imagine that everything is very sensitive by now.
homesuckfucker 28
For some women, sex during a period can be really painful, and not worth the bloody mess of an aftermath.
Harley326 7
Shower sex was invented for this situation. No mess.
sweetbliss3 37
an old towel works too. it's just blood. nothing too serious to stop having sex.
a1_z9 10
It's funny how many people seem to think she hasn't considered this! If she's not having sex while on her period, its probably because she doesn't want sex while on her period, not a lack of creativity.
squideth 18
Exactly 95. It's like people can't grasp that some women don't like having sex on their period, and that they have every right to that feeling.
thespiantess 18
Being on your period is often an uncomfortable situation and women usually don't like feeling uncomfortable while having sex. Some women don't mind it, and that's okay as well. To each their own.
AmyPond17 33
When I'm on my period I'm in pretty much constant agonizing pain, between the migraines and cramps; I also cannot stand being touched. Pretty sure if a guy tried to have sex with me, I'd cut his dick off.
lexa1love 16
To each their own, sex on my period helps my cramps better than any medication I have tried. There is actually a scientific reason, something about the stimulation dulls the pain receptors. I think if she wanted to, she would still be having sex.
jazzy_123 20
I wouldn't get cramps as bad as others but when I did, sex would definitely help ease the pain. btw, #40, good hygiene will keep it from smelling.
homesuckfucker 28
Oh yeah, good hygiene *certainly* makes blood stop smelling like blood, 163.
jazzy_123 20
171, seriously? first off, period blood smells nothing like the rest of your blood. second, yes good hygiene will keep the smell away. If we don't wash down there, it will smell like fish and that's just disgusting.
lunarviolin 9
@190 the IUD birth control makes your blood smell 10x as horrible. it's very different from period sex. I mean I still have sex. it even smells bad in the shower.
burnthistown 20
I'm my horniest when I'm on my period. So yes, period sex can definitely happen and be great. Sorry for tmi
Celestyna 16
Yes, and I wish! But my partner cannot stand blood and absolutely refuses to touch me at my time of the month. :(
PenguinBitch 44
I suppose that's also 4 months of pain, cramps and stress. Ouch.
k_th0m 15
That would be miserable. I'm sorry op. I hope you find a better birth control. :(
vlc28 2
When I had the implant I had my period for about 6 weeks (assuming you have that too?) it's just not the one for you. I went onto the injection and now have no periods at all- bliss :)
lewaraly 8
Um how do you not freak out that you're pregnant if you don't get periods?
just_dorky_me 22
#25 because of the birth control
classicsparkles 17
25, do you know what birth control is designed to do? (hint: it's in the name).
StickyPickles 33
Has no one here heard of sex in the shower? You may want to talk to your doc though op
a1_z9 10
Lots of women's periods come with a whole bunch of exciting unsexy symptoms that water can't wash away! Period sex is super when the lady's feeling up to it, not so much when she feels like a walking bag of cramps.
StickyPickles 33
I completely understand and do not argue that at all I was merely stating that as in previous relationships shower sex had often been the case when we wanted to get intimate and more often than not it was her who wanted it. I personally don't like it as water creates unpleasant friction.
homesuckfucker 28
Shower sex is also very dangerous if either party is clumsy.
Neverafter 14
Four months of chocolate cravings. Mmm!
alicefarina 7
4 months and you didn't think something was wrong? I stopped taking it after 3 weeks when that happened to me! Anyway, this things can happen, it probably means that this pill doesn't suit you, so go back to your doctor and them to prescribe you another one, its all about adjustments, I took 10 different ones before finding "the One" good luck!
doodlecloud 27
Well...it's pretty common for it to happen up to like 6 months on a new birth control. You're supposed to try and wait it out. You definitely shouldn't give up after 3 weeks. No wonder it took you 10 different types.
davisjenny81 30
Why did you wait ago long? If it was me I would have gone to the doctor after like 3 weeks!
speakfreely 21
I dot think that's how it's suppose to work is be worried