Love: Today, I found out why a boy I like has been ignoring me since... - FML

By Bibi - Brazil - Brasilia

Today, I found out why a boy I like has been ignoring me since we went out for drinks the other night. I accidentally got too drunk and remember nothing except that I decided to play on my phone for awhile. The next day he wouldn't even talk to me and when I asked why, he told me that I had drunkenly revealed to him that I had multiple crushes, all of their names, and had showed him all of my conversations with them on WhatsApp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2336

You deserved it

7300

Tweet

Share

Out of it

Messed up

Taking stock

By Myriam - United States

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69198

You deserved it

10505

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28485

You deserved it

2246

Tweet

Share

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25839

You deserved it

3768

Tweet

Share

By RainyDay - United States

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52231

You deserved it

3499

Tweet

Share

By nicoleee - United States

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25960

You deserved it

4041

Tweet

Share

By Homeless - United States

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

I agree, your life sucks

96877

You deserved it

3511

Tweet

Share

By fishingforubies2 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27885

You deserved it

1830

Tweet

Share

By Nickel

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3835

You deserved it

239

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20595

You deserved it

1568

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Honolulu

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20337

You deserved it

3161

Tweet

Share

By screwwyou - United States

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53025

You deserved it

5114

Tweet

Share

By downgirl - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23145

You deserved it

2356

Tweet

Share

By miewann - United States - Mount Holly

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32094

You deserved it

2552

Tweet

Share

By Chubby - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37088

You deserved it

5152

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pomona

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23866

You deserved it

3706

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

10432

You deserved it

39719

Tweet

Share

By mish - United Kingdom - Leominster

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48124

You deserved it

4159

Tweet

Share

By Sheila Deville

Delirious fever days are the BEST!

Today, it's day 5 of being out of my mind with a fever. I actually uttered the words, "Spit is a lubricant, not a frictioncant or gripperorator." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1256

You deserved it

190

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I got home after a night of drinking with my coworker. We hooked up, but he was so drunk he had to use a flashlight to put it in. Then, he ran out of the room to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1643

You deserved it

817

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Suffer little chives

Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

914

You deserved it

56

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35810

You deserved it

10095

Tweet

Share

By das_shizzle - 30/9/2020 23:02 - United States - Montesano

Oh shit

Today, as I was getting ready to go to class, I accidentally stepped in dog poop. I was in a hurry, so I scraped it off as best as I could. When I go to class, I noticed it smelled. The girl behind me noticed and said, "Mmmmm, smells like food in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks

916

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By 42 - Canada

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42661

You deserved it

4104

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29355

You deserved it

2782

Tweet

Share

By trafficfail

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31685

You deserved it

2806

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35365

You deserved it

3829

Tweet

Share

By - United States

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27794

You deserved it

2818

Tweet

Share

By ishyboo - United States - Baraboo

Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15259

You deserved it

28720

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46299

You deserved it

4354

Tweet

Share

By jl_word - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30568

You deserved it

3818

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Hungary - Budapest

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29689

You deserved it

1972

Tweet

Share

By Welshite - United States

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35949

You deserved it

3349

Tweet

Share

By Dora - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37146

You deserved it

7954

Tweet

Share

By not laughing anymore - Netherlands - Egelshoek

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

I agree, your life sucks

29715

You deserved it

6418

Tweet

Share

By jess - 16/12/2020 06:02 - United States - Denver

BO Central

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1334

You deserved it

1508

Tweet

Share

By cestquoicebordel?? - France

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26784

You deserved it

6171

Tweet

Share

By no - United States - Worcester

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40093

You deserved it

3428

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50439

You deserved it

5036

Tweet

Share

By embarrassed - United Kingdom

Question Time

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39357

You deserved it

2784

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Understandable.

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1508

You deserved it

3095

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7494595 - Sunday 16 July 2017 21:54

How does one accidentally get drunk? An open bottle of whiskey walking nearby tripped, fell, and landed in your mouth?

By A Frenchy in Eire | 31

#7494588 - Sunday 16 July 2017 21:51

One does not simply "accidentally" get too drunk...

COMMENTS

By A Frenchy in Eire | 31

#7494588 - Sunday 16 July 2017 21:51

One does not simply "accidentally" get too drunk...

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7494595 - Sunday 16 July 2017 21:54

How does one accidentally get drunk? An open bottle of whiskey walking nearby tripped, fell, and landed in your mouth?

Reply

Cali | 54

#7497076 - Tuesday 18 July 2017 17:21

Have you never underestimated the strength of a mixed drink? Sometimes a single glass of punch can almost knock you out!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7494599 - Sunday 16 July 2017 21:57

Drunk you has no shame.

By Taurus_ChicKa | 36

#7494604 - Sunday 16 July 2017 22:03

I clicked YDI as soon as I read you got too drunk.

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7494627 - Sunday 16 July 2017 22:28

Then maybe you should exercise self control. Ever think about that?

By Gwengreen | 6

#7494662 - Sunday 16 July 2017 23:03

This is a sad example of hate the playa, not the game. Poor form OP.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7494691 - Sunday 16 July 2017 23:55

You really need to know your limit.

Guys don’t like it when girls get sloppy drunk. Unless they are rapists.

Reply

korpse | 6

#7507677 - Wednesday 26 July 2017 13:43

Anyone who gets sloppy drunk can get annoying; it's not a question of gender.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 16

#7494700 - Monday 17 July 2017 0:10

You my dear are not old enough to drink...now or ever! How old are you? 13? Geez did a genie show up and make you drunk?

By ImminentDisaster | 12

#7495167 - Monday 17 July 2017 10:06

Maybe OP has never had alcohol or gotten drunk before, so didn't realise how quickly they'd get drunk or quite what effect it would have on them.

By jessicasoho | 13

#7495172 - Monday 17 July 2017 10:11

Did you date Bill Cosby?