By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 609
You deserved it 34 331

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Awkward for him... But for the family it's GET THE GUNS!

If it was my house you would have woken up in jail.

Impressive drunk breaking into house skills. I now know who to call if I need in a house!

outstandtacular 11

I want to know if you were anywhere near your house..?

How did you get inside...?

^How did you not see the 10+ people that asked the same question before you commented?

"Today, I woke up to find a sleeping drunk man on my couch. I have no idea who he is. FML"

I'm curious if the cops were even called. For all we know, the OP woke up before anyone even noticed. That is, until the realize their couch reeks of urine and booze.

If it was my house you'd wake up with my USC .45 in your face.

Haha I would have shaved your eyebrows and covered your face with epic sharpie drawings before I woke you up to kick you out.

Today, I drunkenly-YDI.

Mirequetz 6

Please... try to be more creative. OTTAWA - Breaking into a home, drinking beer, pooping in the pool and then passing out got two young men in hot water -- one of them literally. They were discovered Sunday morning when the homeowner woke up around 5:40 a.m., one fast asleep on the couch, the other napping in the Jacuzzi.

The location says Canada, so I'm assuming that what they say about Canadians is true, and they DON'T lock their doors. I heard stories about this before, and some American guy did a show or something on it.

If it was my house he wouldn't of even made it to the couch.

Yeeeeaaahhhhh..... We also ride polar bears to school in the year-round blizzards, and our igloos FINALLY just got central heating! Jesus.....

speedsk8r4evr 1

Dumbass

thejewishfuhrer 17

Drunkass

These things are pretty common lol. One of my buddies did the same thing and threw up on the couch too

xoconnie 8

Guys that's a little harsh lol

My brother once did what op did - it was the house next to his. He was so close.

c8750 2

One of my friends broke into the hotel room next to ours by accident in a drunken stupor. Was absolutely hilarious in the morning

How did OP even get in?

As soon an alcohol is involved everyone immediately jumps to the 'dumbass' calls. Such a cynical age.

113: If someone gets drunk enough that they enter the wrong house or pees on the floor, then they've obviously drunk more than they should have. Ergo, dumbass.

Thank god u didn't get caught or else u'd be waking up in a jail...

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

52, your grammar is disgraceful; nor does your collective of verbatim have any relevance to the topic. And I'd agree with the comment, if anyone was home where OP woke up, there would be some interrogating going on, cops or shotgun alike.

daminantion: Because of you I read 52's comment three times. There is nothing wrong with his grammar. But, considering this has zero relevance to the FML aside from being under it's comments section, I suggest we get back on topic.

Damn, I forgot to add: I agree with the rest of your comment, though.

64, stand up. Walk away from the computer. Get out the house. Get yourself a life and stop trying to be a smart arse.

64, grammatically you can't use "nor" without first using "neither".

reddudeover 2

77 - Does a 10 second google search. WRONG!

baddawg365 0

My question is why is he (64) talking about how the guy uses exactly the same words... Verbatim means precise repetition of words... And I for one do not see 52 using anything from the post or other comments verbatim.

Are you kidding me 64? Your grammar and sentence structure is the worst in this comment thread. Get a life.

77- that's not true, but I thumbed you up because 64 is an arse hole

This is great!!

that sounds fun. i bet the owners of the house were happy to have a new guest!

I doubt it - would u be happy to have a drunk passed out on ur couch? I'd shoot first and ask questions later...

It's called sarcasm.

Aaaaww it's funny because he would not be happy to have a new person in his house.... Im sorry im just starting to understand sarcasm as I'm an immigrant like Fouad from Family Guy :-)

#18 - I hope you were using sarcasm for shooting someone then asking questions. You shouldn't kill or injure a person without a valid reason. (A stranger napping on the couch is not one).

You never know. They could have been planning to molest your wife or daughter after they took a nap because of being tired from their last victim.

OP is Canadian, what are they gong to do?

^Were I am in canada my city is like the ghetto why do you think they're gonna do

I'm sure that's what the owner must've asked with the same expressions as ur avatar pic

Or with yours.

It would be an entirely different FML if OP woke up to 15's expression. I for one would shit my pants.

Probably just walked in. A lot of people don't lock up their houses

OP's from Canada. They don't need to lock their houses in Canada.

62 - My town of 14,000 has a whopping two break-ins a year and it's usually vehicles, not houses. Most people don't lock their doors. My father doesn't even bother shutting the front or back doors; he just closes the screens.

Llamacod 11

my guess, and this is only a guess, is through the door

Jeez people are so trusting. Where I live there isnt much robbery in the part of town I live but I'm still paranoid about it lol.

Now I know where to either move to have a nice peaceful life, or to steal shit... CANADA!

Haha ya, being from Canada myself, we don't need to lock up our houses.

thatoneguy79 10

80) I was thinking he was practicing for Christmas Santa and slid down the chimney (bonus chimney cleaning for them!) before coming to rest on the couch. Now that I think about it, I suppose the door might work too.

I'm from Canada too, my auntie who lives down the road's house was broken into three times. Mine never but living beside two cops might help.

baddawg365 0

6- That's Jenna Marbles isn't it?

perhaps the people that live there should have been a little more concerned >:)

cradle6 13

This situation reminds me of something. Anyone remember this: "um one time i was sleeping and yknow dreaming and i was dreaming that my mom was making soup for breakfast and i was like dude who makes soup for breakfast so then I uh woke up and i went downstairs to get yknow breakfast and i realized i was in the wrong house THAT WAS TOTALLY KYLE."

pfclunchbox005 1

Nice tits

Today, I woke up and saw a man that I've never seen before sleeping on the couch. Apparently he was so drunk, he mistook our house for his house. Now my husband thinks I cheated on him. FML

I'm surprised you weren't chased out the house by some crazy housewife. Was the couch comfortable?

*Family walking into living room* "let's go watch a movie- WHO THE F**K ARE YOU?!" OP: "Shit."