By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 535
You deserved it 3 543

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Top comments

MattRoseen 12

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol


Mahomie123 0

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

m0tl3ycru3 0

That's karma

And apparently he's on the heavy side

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Jesus crist that sucks OP

It's a sign, that you should drive a hybrid.

kurlyfries222 0

It's ok your car will be fixed/ raised from the dead in 3 days!

What if he was driving a hybrid?

No, #16, it really isn't, not even by the watered-down new age definition of karma.

bizarre_ftw 21

47 - this IS America (or it is for me. Go narcissism!!)


Probably crushed you

It's a sign that you should start going to church again. You must repent for your sins.

LiveLaughFML 10

repent! repent! Jesus is coming in 2012.

Damn_Hippster 11

It's the start of the rapture!!

God pushers are taking things a bit too literally..

JEnglish89 1

Why I'm atheist...

i hate "doomsday" in 2012. Absolutely the worst theory ever...

saIty 17

1- laugh out loud out out laugh out loud out out laugh out out out out loud?

The 2012 Doomsday movie was much worse than a the theory. Worst fucken acting.

D37H100 5

Church's: "2012 is the end of the world. Quick give us money so god can protect you!"

saIty 17

I was attempting to translate #1's post of LOLOOLOLOOLOOOL. 49- Your dad's condom was a fail.

He can come whenever he wants, 2012 is just a movie

Your ignorant you jackass

The_Troller 14

62- you can't call someone ignorant and misspell you're in the same sentence

WTSchool 0

#62 - What about my ignorant?

No, 57. It's a theory of the world ending based on the fact that the ancient Mayans calendar ends on that day. Or something like that anyway. I don't pay enough attention to mad men's rambling to be certain on the finer points of our numerous doomsday theories.

18 - Tell him to pick up some condoms before then... lube won't hurt either.

ImFrackinBored 13

2012 doomsday believers: Ever stop to think that carving a calendar into stone may get old after hundreds of years? They probably just got bored of making it ^_^

You're an atheist because your car was attacked by a Jesus statue?

midnightxloner 1

53- fuck you. The people that do that are not Christian they are fakes. Most Christians would tell you that you can't tell when jesus is coming back

RedPillSucks 31

Just a theory. There are several reasons why the Mayan calendar may have ended. 1. December 2012 coincides with the end of the long count calender (e.g. they did get bored) 2. December 2012 coincides with a galactic alignment (e.g. death from cosmic rays from some pulsar) 3. December 2012 coincides with a super large solar flare (e.g. death from solar thowup) None of this may matter at all. This is just the new 2K bug scare updated for a new century.

dcg1375 7

December 2012 does coincide with the galactic alignment and so supposedly a new era. So I believe this is why the Mayan calendar ended there. I do not think there will be any death from cosmic rays however. The world will continue as usual. Incidentally for all those claiming there will be Armageddon in 2012. The original definition to that was "an unveiling". As to what? No one knows.

Talk about thread jacking..

bizarre_ftw 21

66 - apparently you can

bumblebee41 0

I couldn't agree more we went to see the movie and we left half way through it.

bizarre_ftw 21

102 - chocolate dipped raspberry peeps!!!!!!

The world will end in 5 billion years time, when the sun will expand into a red giant and burn our planet to embers. However, we may make it uninhabitable before then.

To all 2012 doomsday believers. Hi, I'm from 2013 and I'm here to tell you the world didn't end. Sorry.

Did his healing warmth flow through you?

No but it probably did through his car.

RedPillSucks 31

I don't think that was the healing warmth. I think that was from him pissing himself.

What a hugger

beagle351 0

Mr Gorbachev tear down this wall! Reagan smash! Reagan smash!

MattRoseen 12

The power of Christ compells you!

Fried chicken and Jesus Christ!!

But I've clearly hit puberty. I'm very hairy, like a bear. That makes me better.

Perhaps u have commited a sin

You're kind of attractive, #4

Tom Selleck is kind of attractive, you meant to say...

4 having abs is as much of a joke as saying James Earl Jones's balls haven't dropped.

HoboSmeller 6

your car has been blessed by Jesus, praise the lord!

its all good, op's car is gonna be resurrected in a few days.

raindr0p23 0

lol that sucks...but least your car "caught" him rite :x savior? hahaha?

Jesus is coming. Look busy

bizarre_ftw 21

Damn!! Where are those beady things?!!! People! I need wine and a little boy that's good at keeping quite!! Holy Hell!!! Where'd I put my book of myths?!!! Spread out!! The title starts with a B and the text is extremely sexist, racist, and homophobic!!!

Angry Birds RIO?

xmudvaynex 13

Hint hint