Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
WTH happened?
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Party girl
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML
Partaaaaay!
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Top comments
CharliesCool2084 8
How did you get in?
vhivfe 3
Awkward...
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Comments (217)
skokob 7
How the hell u get in the house!?
Llamacod 11
probably through the door
skokob 7
Ok smart ass most people lock the "DOOR"!
Llamacod 11
maybe where you live they do, but not everywhere
lepuppykicker 15
Not everyone. I usually don't lock my doors.
tony1891 22
Oh No. at least you're not sitting in jail for breaking and entering
SystemofaBlink41 27
Maybe he IS writing from jail...
b0ngs 7
...how did you get in the house then?!
xPlayerofDeathx 0
Drinking in the first place? I'm sure booze is addicting, but don't lower yourself to drink too much. YDI
luccmon 6
Get off your high horse.
ALpein 0
I don't drink, nor will I ever. But that statement is so pompous. Don't lower yourself to drinking? People are free to do whatever they please. This is like when people complain about when people smoke...
fuzz97 23
17 is clearly a straight-edge doucher
downtime 13
59, If you can't complain about people doing something that directly impacts you personally then what can you complain about?
ALpein 0
165, I don't care that people complain about this stuff. what I care about is when they complain about people they don't know. This commenter doesn't know OP so assuming things is, in other words, stupid and bias. Maybe this was their first time drinking? Lightweight? They hardly drink? We don't know.
xPlayerofDeathx 0
Look pal, not everyone is gonna like my comment. Learn to realize this: nobody is perfect.
lectricpharaoh 9
The fact that the OP illegally entered someone else's house makes them a douche. Drinking is not a justification, and for those that use it as such, like OP pointing out he was drunk (as though it was in some way relevant) means OP was using it as an excuse.
Megan98 18
Did you wake up from their screams, as they saw you on their couch?
imperialtl 12
That's hilarious!
ICastillo 25
We all do stupid shit when we get ****** up. Your lucky you didn't get your ass shot man, at least you didn't wake up next to a fugly girl.
ERIKER 11
This isn't America, where you can legally shoot other people from your property. In the rest of the world that is even illegal
ICastillo 25
You wouldn't freak out with a random person in your house? I know you just don't shoot someone, but man usually when a stranger is in your house they're up to no good.
reaganomics 6
#25 apparently you have never visited the rest of the world...
Megan98 18
#25-Well I can guarantee that the people from where I live don't agree with that. They would at least have a gun out to protect themselves.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Opinion from one part of the world (Pakistan): You can shoot somebody for your own protection if they enter your house unauthorized. The weapon used should be legal and licensed.
wiesel_fml 0
Shoot here in Texas I can shoot someone as soon as they step foot inside my property line.
TheDrifter 24
Actually, as a relocated Texan myself, you legally have to give them 30 seconds warning unless they are an imminent danger to life or property.
AliceLockehart 18
I know this is a little off topic, but if you do shoot & kill them, but didn't give a 30 second warning, can you be charged for murder? Just curious. I'm from Australia, we don't have laws like that over here :)
downtime 13
133, It doesn't really matter, nobody is going to own up and go "Ah shit, you know what, I totally forgot about that 30 second thing. I think I gave him like 3 seconds. My bad guys, totally slipped my mind." Besides, who would give an armed man a 30 second warning? You'd get shot before you count to 10.
leviosarain91 0
The question is , how did u get into that house?
downtime 13
Yes, we know, everyone else already asked it.
besoslanae 1
Mustve been a fun night. Lmao
cactasaurus 7
I wonder what their reaction was.
ALpein 0
The current resident of the house took OP's shoes off, cleaned him up, and tucked him in while placinging a fifty for cab fare in his pocket. What do you think the reaction was?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Mmm, Looks like we got a early from present from Santa Claus, Jessie. Go get me some rope."
c8750 2
Maybe OP got lucky & the owner wasn't there & they just woke up & left...but that wouldn't be as funny :-)
oliversutton 9
So what made u move to italy