Anonymous
Canada
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
FailedEngineer
Australia
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Anonymous
Canada
WTH happened?
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Abby
United States
Party girl
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Anonymous
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Anonymous
Darwin, Australia
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
constantine
United States
Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML
Anonymous
Kelowna, Canada
Partaaaaay!
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Caution
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Top comments
CharliesCool2084 8
How did you get in?
vhivfe 3
Awkward...
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Comments (217)
S182 15
Well... That sucks. At least you didn't get shot as you were coming in.
OfficeNinja 5
Charlie Sheen? Is that you?
ttttttyyy 0
Waka Waka Waka, the shit gonna hit the fan now!
sirpantselot 22
That's not an FML, that's awesome!!
groupleader 7
How did your couch get in their house?
GlOMARiE 2
Who let you in????????
vbmg152 19
I see this FML on here a lot! How the heck does that happen? I used to drink a lot & I've never gone to the wrong house!
florencesummer 0
Bi-winning tigerblood!
thatoneguy79 10
Ah yes, the drunken stupor. Its a great way to see the sights of town and meet new people, whom you will most likely forget when you wake up. I can just imagine the scene as OP awakes... The light rises on the living room. A clothed figure lies on the couch face down, clothes disheveled and one shoe lying on its side next to the door. A large fuzzy dog licks the person's face. In the background, near the end of a couch, a tall figure stands in shadows. The figure on the couch starts to stir, first trying to turn their head away from the licking. After a few moments, as the person on the couch stirs increasingly more, weakly trying to push the dog away from his face, the shadowy figure steps forward and gently taps the laying person on the head with a baseball bat. The person slowly raises his head as the figure steps from the shadows and squats at the end of the couch. "Mornin', sunshine. Sleep well?" "Argnarf" "I figured as much. My daughters here and I just wanted to make sure you were alright; looks like you had one heck of a night." "dghtrs?" "That's right, I have five lovely little ladies in this house. Aren't they somethin' else? They are right over there if you want a look." "Wowza. Uh, yeah, they are nice, sir." "Indeed. Now I just need to know which one you slept with last night, so we can get you properly hitched." "Uh, what?" "The only men allowed to sleep in this house are myself and the husbands of my daughters. So I need to know which one you slept with so we can get her a purty white dress for the festivities this afternoon." The person is now fully awake, sitting up on the couch, looking over the ladies as if he is trying to remember if he has seen any of them before. "Its not that hard son, just tell me which one you shared a bed in sin with, and we will get you hitched this afternoon so you won't have to worry anymore. We have a nice little place next to the horse barn where we can perform the ceremony. Hell, I won't even make you plow the fields today; it will wait for tomorrow." The person stutters as he starts to get off the couch and head for the door. "MA! Grab the Shotgun! We have a runner."
GroovyGravy 7
Too long,did not read
FMLife81 0
So you woke up in the morning and said "lol ima post this on FML"