Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
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Top comments
akd1v 0
who the hell talks about the bible during sex anyways ?
ilovejorgerabara 3
Who the hell has a conversation during sex anyways?
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Comments (170)
akd1v 0
who the hell talks about the bible during sex anyways ?
ilovejorgerabara 3
Who the hell has a conversation during sex anyways?
eddieyes 0
I guess he's practically bffs with Jesus
I_R_Genius 3
Did he start preaching from the old testament and say 5 hell maries?
MrBrick 0
"The lord shall strike again!" (Insert knob)
Tikwichka 5
#18, for someone who is awfully keen to point out others' spelling mistakes, you make a lot of your own. *Hail Mary's*
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
So when girls yell "oh god" it's ok bit soon as us guys quote a little Matthew 28:19 were the bad guys jezz
snuu_man 0
does "oh god" count?
angel9413 0
apparently her bf does
blackbird31 0
the only time to talk about the bible is when you're talking about how wrong it is
tyoyomi 1
89 I'm glad I won't be seeing you in hell
stall2dude911 2
truee
viaMannequin 1
Too bad there isn't one.
LolAtYourFail 12
Bahahahaha I love these atheists!
AEverydayDouche 1
I´m going to make this as clear as possible for you cptmorgan15. You DON´T count syllables in haikus, it´s really a common mistake to believe so , you DO however count moras in haikus. (there´s suppose to be 5-7-5 moras) In this case the last line would have been "Now I ne" or maybe "Now I Ned" (the name you know, still doesn´t make sense tough) because in the word need there´s 2 moras but only 1 syllables. If you still don´t get why his comment was unnecessary just google "Haiku" or something.
kcnutt10 1
Wrong FML/comment 108?
sara8866 8
A) The bible says "do not have sex out of marriage so B) how does it make it wrong to have sex as long as you are -1 qq t
urdirtyolduncle 15
I guess he's best friends with that guy who recited verses from the bible while wanking in the men's public bathroom's urinal.
MushyLuvsU 0
89: Indeed... See? This is what religion does to people. D: I'm sorry OP... I hope he doesn't believe the parts where it says men>women.
Lolzasaur1337 0
145- I've read the bible and there is no part in it that says men>women, that's how people lived back in the times it was written, but even the atheists in that time lived that way
rocketeer_97 1
all the people who are saying the bible is wrong and saying stuff that it says in it, my response to you is just WOW. i also wanted to say that not all religious people are all the same. there are so many different beliefs out there so you cant label all of them in the same category. not all religious people say "you are going to hell". that is just one big steteotype
ichikibobivopula 0
I talk about the bible during sex.
salh 2
Who are you to judge? Maybe someday he'll accept God, and you'd have gone astray, no one has the right to judge other than God.
KataraTheBender 0
Why talk about the bible?
ILOVELOTR 3
Exactly, the part where Paul says women, be submissive to your husbands is contextual, it's only for that situation, not now.
badluckwind 0
time to dump him!
iSitt 0
dump him now before he locks you in his basement!
iBoardSlide 0
WTF! he talks about his religion during sex, why should he be dumped asshole?
DjeePee 24
"WTF! he talks about his religion during sex, why should he be dumped asshole? " Excellent, you were able to give the explanation all by yourself! Carry on.
Rainbow35 6
10: That *is* why. I'm pretty sure you're not meant to try and have deep conversations during sex. Even if they only consist of Bible quotes. :P
CommonSenseKarma 17
If he really cares, sexual intercourse should not be existent between you two. Yeah I don't know. I had something really sarcastic for this.
Jiplo 18
FML "advice" at its finest.
auzzrage 1
yeah.... he's a keeper?
Dragons_corner 6
funny thing is it says in the "bible the person you lay with becomes your wife" and yes more then one wife. I'm still reading it but I know that's in there and the wife thing is about King David.
zargon 1
#32 Would you care to show us the relevant verse(s) that says any such thing?
rocketeer_97 1
all the "wives" were back in bible days. & there a LOT of bible verses talking about sexual immortality & sex after marriage.
Jazzyj152 0
O-O run before he attacks u in the name of Jebus
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
haha
twinmum_fml 6
WIN!!!!!!
MushyLuvsU 0
Lmfao love this!
Btaylor91 0
Hmm don't know what to say to that but I agree with #2
Flamehog9 0
Then don't say anything at all, douchebag.
Flamehog9 0
Then don't say anything at all, douchebag.
paprikacha 9
...that's weird as hell, man. O_O
pisspot 0
Shame on both of you. You will both surely go to helll now. :-D
BWill9014 4
"Hey just an idea.... let's share our favorite bible scriptures while committing fornication... it REALLY turns me on" OP just get a new boyfriend and stop dating idiots...
GLiTTeRz 0
why? I don't get it
boredguy7 0
I don't either
takeapieandrun 9
Because the bible condemns pre-marital sex
Dragons_corner 6
have you read the bible front to back like a real book. so far I have read nothing about that but "the person you lay with becomes your wife".
pamdagonebad 2
retard dragons_corner, it condns pre-marital intercourse. i have read the bible 3 times, live in a christian home, go to a bible church, go to a bible study, and have been christian for 20 years.
audie9010 0
I'm just saying it says no to pre marital sex but yes to having sex with ur brothers wife I he has no son
BloodyHeel 8
Oh 69. Oh God. You poor thing. I feel awfully sorry for you, your life sounds horrible.
laden_swallow09 34
69- Great. Where in the Bible does it say it?
TheFection 0
I agree 85. that's exactly what I was thinking. I just broke all that off with my life cuz it was making me miserable.
megaluke 0
88 you poor thing, god is the way, but do it right.
Dragons_corner 6
69 like 86 say where does it say it?? I know the lay with them is from the old testament. I can find the verses that says it and ask my preacher uncles and ant.
5t3ff1k4h 44
122 - That's his choice. If he doesn't want to follow that (or any) religion, that's not up to you. How dare you push your beliefs and tell him "God is the way"... you're just as bad as the atheists who go around saying there is no God.
zargon 1
#69: Oh really? Where does it say that? More importantly, how did you miss the part about being kind to others?
aquariusangel420 0
If u seriously DONT get it then u don't need to be having sex! Problem solved
sourgirl101 28
Maybe he's saying "See babe, if you believe in that book of yours, we shouldn't be doing this. Now, flip over for daddy!"
apcfan009 0
lmao win! ^
biohaz_fml 0
lol lmao