Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to ban my teenage son from taking his phone into the bathroom, not because he looks at porn, but because he’s so engrossed in the screen, he doesn’t aim while he pees all over the seat and sometimes the floor, without cleaning it up. He’s not incapable, just fucking lazy. FML
Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
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Top comments
PinkLifeMatter 3
Same reason why old folks took the newspaper…..duh
Crowned Sataness 12
because it's better than reading the shampoo bottle. let the boy poop in peace ffs.
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Comments (6)
PinkLifeMatter 3
Same reason why old folks took the newspaper…..duh
Yudith 28
Constipation? Give him some Bran Buds to eat, like doctors give old folks.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Maybe it is so that you can't go through it while he's in there?
Crowned Sataness 12
because it's better than reading the shampoo bottle. let the boy poop in peace ffs.
soundsfakebutok 10
literally everyone does this, Grandma
idragosani 17
I think just about everybody does this (except you, obviously). The bathroom has been my reading room since I was a kid growing up in the 70s.
Underscore_foo 5
Literally everyone does this. Your boss responds to your emails when on the toilet too. What’s the problem?