Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
akd1v 0
who the hell talks about the bible during sex anyways ?
ilovejorgerabara 3
Who the hell has a conversation during sex anyways?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
drbieber 0
WTF? that's weird
HomeAl0ne 20
If he's like me, he's praying for the second coming.
skyeyez9 24
97: Yes, but i remember a story where a mob wanted to stone a woman for premarital sex (and i think prostitution). Jesus stopped them by saying that the person who has never sinned to cast the first stone. All thise self righteous turds dropped their rocks and sulked off.
AEverydayDouche 1
I´m going to make this as clear as possible for you cptmorgan15. You DON´T count syllables in haikus, it´s really a common mistake to believe so , you DO however count moras in haikus. (there´s suppose to be 5-7-5 moras) In this case the last line would have been "Now I ne" or maybe "Now I Ned" (the name you know, still doesn´t make sense tough) because in the word need there´s 2 moras but only 1 syllables. If you still don´t get why his comment was unnecessary just google "Haiku" or something.
Star18lk 0
i don't get how this is an fml. it's weird that he talks about the bible but what is there that he desperately needs to understand about it...?
skulluks 0
the keyboard is having rapeing your fingertips.
JiffySmalls 0
You shouldn't be having sex if you're not married.
ahhitsjessi88 0
hahaha
politicalnut 1
You deserve it you should have known he was a bible thumper before getting him into bed.
dansco 24
You're gonna burn in hell!!!
ishida1235 0
well better dump him if he wants to talk about a work of fiction during sex
roguesurfguy 0
sup you dumbass atheist. there is a god. a mother which cares for all living things. so go away.