By alicia - 20/12/2012 22:45 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 264
You deserved it 11 966

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Wait a second... So he would rather have his own hand touch his penis than your's?

ThePsyche 9

Does anyone know what's up with all the YDI's lately? Even some that are genuine FML's are being voted YDI. Why?


Wait a second... So he would rather have his own hand touch his penis than your's?

These days a lot of guys have erectile dysfunction brought about by excessive internet porn use. So he might actually need to watch porn to prepare himself. Just a possibility.

ThePsyche 9

Does anyone know what's up with all the YDI's lately? Even some that are genuine FML's are being voted YDI. Why?

25- thank god I'm not the only one. I thought it was just my app until I read your comment.

Someone from the FML team said it was a bug on the app!

oj101 33

#25 - I think it's the new iOS5 app. Most of FML readers use the app on their smartphones. When I scroll down I sometimes accidentally select FYL or YDI (YDI is the second option near the next FML below) whereas the old app had a two step confirmation process that only came up when requested. And the app is buggy and cluttered in general- so I'm still using the iOS4 app until the new app is improved.

oj101 33

#25 - I think it's the new iOS5 app. Most of FML readers use the app on their smartphones. When I scroll down I sometimes accidentally select FYL or YDI, whereas the old app had a two step confirmation process that only came up when requested. And the app is buggy and cluttered in general- so I'm still using the iOS4 app until the new app is improved.

oj101 33

Oops. Sorry for the double post above. Ironically the actual FML website that I posted this from decided to play up and submit my comment twice.

lindaruiz 5

I know right...he should want het to get all over his penis, weather its her hand, mouth or other.

perdix 29

Where are the Grammar Nazis when you need them? "Yours" doesn't have an apostrophe! Perhaps, they've gone soft ;)

Yes 68, the weather is nice over here. I don't know what kind of whether you prefer though.

Nein! perdix nein!

I would have said something about the *yours*, but I didn't want to risk being buried alive under the cold, harsh sea of grammar nazi haters. It just feels like that type of day, with the world ending and all.

Yeah, they deserve to live their last day happily and not think about the grammer.

gmc_blossom 21

82- I think you mean "grammar." ;)

Mine is like that too, I thought it was a glitch with the app

same here, I also noticed that...is it a prank or a glitch from the site perhaps?

I like-actually love your icon.

fakkumairaifu 14

What kind of ridiculous tripe is that? The cure for self-induced ED is TO LAY OFF THE FUCKING PORN before it's too late.

*raises hand* one was from me- its her husband, she had free reign to join in instead of just complaining about it here.

Time to trade him in

I don't understand all the YDI's....

the_smart_way 10

Because OP expects him to do all the work, sex is a two way thing.

mduffy08 8

You need to read this FML again.

-21, have you heard of something called reading? I heard it helps keep people from saying stupid things

There is a bug on the new app that is making a lot of votes be YDI when they were actually FYL votes

21, you need to re-read the FML the smart way.

The YDI's are because being watched is a turn on to many people. It is foreplay to many. OP isn't being supportive of the things that turn on her boyfriend. I'd bet she expects him to do what turns her on. Everyone has their preferences and your partner should support them if it doesn't involve forcing your partner against their will.

You should give him a helping hand

Maybe it's just me, but "helping" him doesn't turn me on at all. If I'm helping you, you better be returning the favor. Foreplay is meant to get BOTH (sometimes more) in the mood. If I'm doing all the work I'd be pissed.

Someone likes to be in control.

How is that control? If she is expected to do all the work its unfair. He's obviously already in the mood- he should be getting her in the mood too. Obviously she's not turned on if she's on FML...

It's unfortunate for her that seeing him in pleasure doesn't do it for her. If she's that concerned then perhaps she should join in and stop being a party pooper.

It's not sexy!!! The way I see it, it's like if I take you out to dinner and you being hungry, I eat a juicy steak right in front of you. Oh, don't eat, you should feel satisfied just watching me eat! It's unfortunate that you seeing me enjoy my goddam delicious steak doesn't do it for you!!!

spekledworf 18

75 that was a perfect analogy. I hate when I'm on forums and guys don't understand why we're not turned on by sitting with them when they watch porn. I don't get why guys in a relationship even need porn!

It is not about needing it, most of the time it is a way to spice things up and yes if the woman likes it, it will be fun.

I don't understand why women still enjoy chick flicks even they are in famtastic relationships. Thus are lifes mysteries.

Of course guys need porn. Even if they are sexually content in their relationship, everybody has fantasies and fetishes. Everybody is physically attracted to more than just one person. I'd rather my man jerk off to porn than live out fantasies with someone else and cheat.

My partner watches porn. I have no problem with it. We've watched porn together (although mostly terrible parody porn that had us laughing hysterically instead of feeling remotely sexy - the Batman porn parody being a prime example). He's shown me porn that shows a scenario he'd be interested in acting out. I've shown him porn that has stuff I'd be interested in acting out. Maybe her boyfriend has a sexual fantasy involving his girlfriend and porn, or his girlfriend catching him watching porn. This doesn't mean he's right - he's not communicating it effectively at all - but I don't think he has a 'porn addiction'. If you're having sex with someone but aren't mature enough to talk about your likes/dislikes in the bedroom, your sexual history, or sexual fantasies, you're probably not mature enough to be having sex. Women who say 'My boyfriend/husband shouldn't need porn/masturbation, he should be satisfied with me!' are completely misinformed. Sometimes a guy just wants to get his rocks off without having to go through the entirety of sex, and unless he has a partner who is willing to oblige with a quick hand job/blowjob and make it up later (I'll sometimes do this, sometimes I'm not feeling it). Men are visually stimulated - sure, a guy can jerk off without looking at porn at all, but it just adds visual excitement which makes it better. Not to mention the person who knows how to get you off best is YOURSELF. I've certainly been in a horny mood when my partner isn't around, and since I can get myself off pretty quickly, why not? There's also the issue of disparate sex drives between partners. Some men have higher sex drives, some women do. When my partner and I started seeing each other eight years ago? We had a really well-matched sex drive. I've since exhibited symptoms of and have been diagnosed with Lupus and with problems in my reproductive system (endometriosis, ovarian cysts), and I'm also on medications that lower my sex drive. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to have sex when he is (or I'm in too much pain): If I can, I'll do something for him (which can be as simple as taking off my clothes and letting him jerk off while touching me, or as involved as a blowjob), but I don't feel remotely jealous if he feels the need to jerk off on his own from time to time. When it can become a problem is if your sexual relationship (which is a real important part of intimacy) is being replaced by one partner or another ONLY desiring to watch porn (or have one fetish that they refuse to have sex without indulging in), or one partner deciding they don't want to have sex at all. Then you are dealing with selfishness and an unbalanced sexual relationship. My advice? Talk to him. Ask him if this porn thing is a fantasy of his, explain to him that you need to be fulfilled in other ways, but be willing to indulge in his fetishes/kinks from time to time - unless those kinks are potentially really dangerous (asphyxiation, coprophagia, ignoring safe words, etc). As Dan Savage has said: "It's better to be with an honest foot fetishist than a dishonest necrophiliac."

Wow, that is one of the longest replies I have seen.... Congrats! *Hands #108 a cookie and a sticker*

spekledworf 18

108 I understand what your saying, and I tried to have an open mind when I found my ex boyfriend watching porn, but deep down it hurt too much. I thought to myself if we both have a strong sex drive why does he need porn still? I felt like I wasn't good enough or was doing something wrong. We were always very open when it came to talking about sex. Strangely enough he was never into role playing or acting out fantasies no matter how hard I tried to get him to try something new. I just don't understand some guys

fakkumairaifu 14

Everything else in your post was valid so it's a shame the first sentence is so disturbingly wrong. Nobody "needs" porn; that is crap. Humans need food, water, and air. Any other consumable substance you grow to think you need only signals an addiction that will control you if you don't quit while you can.

It's what some dumbasses consider fore-foreplay. Right before they get rejected in bed

Maybe my phone is messing up, but what's with all these recent FML's that have more votes for 'you deserved it' when clearly it should have more votes for 'your life sucks'? Kind of confused..

But it is if you help him out ;)

Why is this comment negative? It's true don't just stand there and watch.

LO388 7

Girls aren't into that kinda thing? I gotta rethink my whole seduction strategy...

LO388 7

That also explains why I keep getting kicked out of bars. And speed-dating events. At least im popular on chatroulette though!

jazzybaby179 22

Op, you should have shown him how it's done ; )

I'm with jazzy, OP show him how a squirrel really gets his nut lol

jazzybaby179 22

Indeed sir! :}

That's sad time to upgrade

OP shouldn't dump him just because he doesn't like foreplay(with OP)

BellaBelle_fml 23

I don't believe that the OP should break up with her boyfriend if this is the first time he has done this believing that it is a turn on for the OP. However, it's not a turn on for her and they should definitely talk about this situation, because sex is very much an important aspect of any sexual relationship. But if he continues in this sort of behavior knowing that his girlfriend is in no way aroused by it or even likes it, that is when the OP should consider breaking up with him. And you should indulge your partner from time to time I'm doing some things that they enjoy, and vice versa, but you don't have to do it every single time you are engaging in sexual behavior. That's no fun and monotonous. Plus, you can't just dump somebody whenever they do something that you don't like, unless what they are doing is illegal, harmful, or degrading of course. Because you'll never have a satisfying or successful relationship if you do.

zombieslayer83 19

jump in there and let him see the magic that is you. I think that's what he really want! you to take control.