Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
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Top comments
akd1v 0
who the hell talks about the bible during sex anyways ?
ilovejorgerabara 3
Who the hell has a conversation during sex anyways?
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Comments (170)
Perksofbeingawal 0
That's so disrespectful... ;/ your boyfriend is rude
quadder 0
sweet zombie Jesus, if your not a bible Humper than stay away
KaylieeJay 4
"Babe if you don't stop talking about the bible during sex, you are going to be saying it to your left hand from now on." Was that so hard?
rattusrattus 18
That's... disturbing. And I'm not a fan of the whole 'dirty girl' sex talk. Inserting preaching into it just takes it to a previously undiscovered level of bizarre.
IMveryHUNGRY 3
Does he ever talk about the part where the bible says adultery is a sin?
jess2gd4u 0
haha shame#24
enoughgrace 4
We can deduct that #45 isn't a bible reader.
Eggers 2
^ This
I_love_my_bug 1
#45 was correct. Adultery is sex outside of marriage, while fornication is pre marital sex. Both are condemned in the Bible.
enoughgrace 4
Is that what your heart tells you?
ILOVELOTR 3
Thank you! I hate it when people who don't even read the Bible say dumb things about it or what's in it.
stilldrunk88 6
Who you having sex with, Ned Flanders?
wolve86 0
well done
GangstaGalahleio 0
WHHAAT?! He must really be into jesus. just saayin.
dudehaha 4
why would you talk about it general, never mind just in sex.
roguesurfguy 0
people who believe in creator like to talk about it. hope this helps for yournquestion
whorecrux 0
haiku time! In the beginning this was a revelation now I need Mr. Hand. -bows-
Strebor 0
mr is pronounced mister = 6 syllables
carmenm 6
mister isn't 6 syllables you idiot if you're going to correct people do it properly
lizzlove 5
i enjoyed this poem xD
ILoveEggnog 7
Six syllables in the last line.
AEverydayDouche 1
You´re right that it´s 6 syllables in the last line but you´re suppose to count moras in haikus and I think its 7 moras in the last line. (need = 1 long syllable = 2 moras) If you´re going to correct people correct something that matters...
cptmorgan15 2
He was saying that the last verse was six syllables, when really it should only be five. So take what you so ignorantly blurted out to him and apply it to yourself. Dumbass.
Privations_fml 3
If you yell, "Oh God!!!", will he smack you for 'saying the lord's name in vain'?
Dragons_corner 6
read the bible it never says that it talks about you preach his word then not doing it which is taking He's name in vain. calling yourself a Christian and not doing Christian thing is taking the Lords name in vain. God damn and oh God is allowed.
HeartOnSleeves 8
this post was made in like 2011, but one of the ten commandments are " Thou shalt not say the Lords name in vain." thank you.