Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
DylanWithAy 1
"A Very Anal Christmas". An endearing tale of love and pain.
QueenOfSuppness 25
The real question is he on the giving or receiving side?
swedkitty8 5
Run girl...
Glasshoney 9
Men are morons.
small_homo 2
buy a strap on, he didn't clarify he wanted to top. and if he won't do it, why should you
kayladayla 13
The gift that keeps on giving....
vetisthewicked 9
Tell him you'll poop in a mayonnaise jar, heat it up in the microwave, and he can take that out on the porch and have at it. it's about the same sensation really. joking aside, I don't know why this would be enjoyable for anyone but hey I don't judge, have at it if you want. just use a good amount of lube so you don't hurt yourself.
gizmosarousrex21 0
Well? Can you afford it xD
Blake77_fml 19
Tell him okay and buy a strap on, he'll be surprised
FoxHunt9119 19
You asked...