Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML
Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
**** you. You are a monster.
Hangryko 32
Because you are a monster. I hope he sues you.
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Comments (18)
Iamthebanzai22 21
**** you. You are a monster.
Hangryko 32
Because you are a monster. I hope he sues you.
FluffythePink 23
"I'm a total wanker and I've just punished someone for daring to stand up to my abusive bullshit. Whaaaaaa! Poor me!"
ryan4723 24
I REALLY hope this is satire because if this story is real you are truly a monster.
tiptoppc 21
You’re right, they probably used dog food. Huge difference…
JackWood 21
You stole someone's catfood sandwich and fired them for it. Slow clap
Lost Reggie 22
It was probably because he couldn't afford Spam on what you pay him.
Justkidding100 41
how would that even be a fireable offense? you STOLE from him and fired him for it. hopefully you get a huge lawsuit and all you can afford are catfood sandwiches.
Vesi 30
Regarding your user name, you may be "the boss" but that does NOT give you the right to treat people like that. You deserved all that and SO much more. It's pond scum like you that makes it hard for honest hard working people to have any kind of good life. (And I deliberately use *people* instead of employees because jacka$$es like you seem to think you don't have to treat others with respect.)
Crowned Sataness 12
I hope this is fake. please be fake. you can't really be that shitty a person. if this is real I hope he sues you for everything you're worth
jlc82 14
if he's suing for everything the boss is worth, He's not going to get much
Wadlaen 24
So you fired a man because of what he had on his lunch, that you stole from him!? I do hope you'll receive a well deserved punishment for this in the near future!