Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Donut_Wizard 23
I dub thee, Sir Pottymouth!
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Honestly, this made me gag reading it. Hopefully it made younfeel better after.
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Comments (16)
Donut_Wizard 23
I dub thee, Sir Pottymouth!
RichardPencil 32
What came out was worse than what came back in. Unless someone else’s poo was in there — that would be worse!
solversilversilver 3
amen
Zekfen 17
You are supposed to wash your mouth out with soap, not toilet water.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Honestly, this made me gag reading it. Hopefully it made younfeel better after.
Allie614032 34
As long as the toilet water was clean, you have nothing to worry about. Just brush your teeth extra well today.
Dave_Davington 35
That's the funny thing about toilet water. It's never truly clean. Largely because people piss and shit in it.
Allie614032 34
Evidently I meant clean of piss or shit. As in, recently flushed. I also mentioned to brush OP's teeth extra well in case of remnants in the toilet since it is, obviously, a toilet. I figured the other commenters on here would have the intelligence level to deduce the meaning behind my statement.
Ishvah 15
so this is why my parents told me not inhale my food.
Lobby_Bee 18
Toilet water is the same water you can drink from the tap, that's one less thing to worry about. As for how clean was the bowl before this happened, that's a whole different matter.
barxie 8
Just to know, do you swallow your food whole?
Sinshine 28
You need to chew your food better if there's such large pieces...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Hmmm... did you not chew it completely? Yuck, that's a lousy situation, though. Hope you feel better.