Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on... - FML

By Anonymous - 2/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

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Proactive

British Broadcasting Corporation

Headache

By Whatdididowrong? - 10/5/2011 05:18

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

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By Richocet - 18/5/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

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By Mandy - 22/12/2014 21:36 - United States - Tampa

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

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By faye - 14/2/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

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By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2012 20:56 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 17:20 - United States

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

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By zed - 9/9/2012 17:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

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By ohmygod - 20/6/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

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By Stinky. - 9/4/2012 03:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

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By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

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By DreamsDontComeTrue - 5/2/2015 06:15 - United States - Newport News

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

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By LittleLou - 16/10/2016 04:28 - United States

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend broke up with me. She immediately asked if it was because I didn't put out. I'm 15. FML

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By URGH - 28/6/2009 22:08 - Canada

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

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By e.middlechild - 13/6/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/7/2015 05:42 - United States - Tampa

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

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By severely late.... again! - 26/10/2017 22:56

Today, as I got on the bus to commute to work, its front right tire exploded. Everyone, including the driver, glared at me while getting off. The next bus arrives in 2 hours. FML

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By LadyNexus - 7/1/2015 03:54 - United States - Mohrsville

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

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By caliibbyy - 29/11/2010 05:03

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

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By vsshopper - 22/2/2012 19:21 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

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By Jeff - 2/8/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/3/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

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By j0natron - 3/2/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

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By Ginger - 3/2/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

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By UnfortunatelyAmusing - 5/11/2013 00:25 - United States - Princeton Junction

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

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By all arsed out - 6/3/2016 16:50 - United Kingdom - Spalding

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

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By PositiveElectron - 27/8/2015 19:52 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

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By madari - 21/10/2012 23:11 - Spain - Benalm?dena

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

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By jezusflowers - 7/5/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

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By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/6/2009 13:32 - Singapore

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

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By AmihayG - 27/3/2012 16:32 - Israel

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

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By Lena - 18/10/2015 17:06 - Germany

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

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By Lisa - 1/10/2012 21:09 - United States - Bayside

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

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By Rosey - 23/7/2014 20:57 - United States - Manson

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

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By patient_mom - 14/6/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

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By jcedarholm - 13/9/2012 05:19 - United States - San Marcos

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

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By braceforcarnage - 2/12/2014 15:42 - United States

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

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By DreDre - 12/12/2019 03:00

The charity

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

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Top comments

By azcardinals1307 | 2

#3379495 - Monday 3 October 2011 0:58

I suspect it's because they're tired of your stupid pranks.

By Neilish | 15

#3379525 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:01

What is an upper decker??

Comments

By azcardinals1307 | 2

#3379495 - Monday 3 October 2011 0:58

I suspect it's because they're tired of your stupid pranks.

Reply

Death_From_Above | 0

#3379655 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:16

Sucks to suck!

Reply

freddyisepic | 2

#3379788 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:47

An upper-decker?

Reply

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#3379855 - Monday 3 October 2011 2:09

26 - It's when you take a (massive) shit in the tank above the toilet, resulting in it not being found for some time, making a horrid stench and being an asspain to clean up.

Reply

freddyisepic | 2

#3379899 - Monday 3 October 2011 2:20

Haha what an awesome prank IMO

Reply

LiveLaughFML | 10

#3379936 - Monday 3 October 2011 2:28

it's like the story the boy who cried wolf. except without all the townspeople and flesh-eating beasts. :~)

Reply

BadKitty13 | 27

#3379993 - Monday 3 October 2011 2:42

EWWW how GROSS.

Reply

BadKitty13 | 27

#3380007 - Monday 3 October 2011 2:45

EWWWW That is really GROSS ! OP GROW THE FUCK UP ! you deserve to be fired ! I have no pity for you.

Reply

Andr913 | 13

#3380052 - Monday 3 October 2011 3:00

Right now, there are 374 FYLs and 374 YDIs...keep it that way!!!

Reply

LiveLaughFML | 10

#3380077 - Monday 3 October 2011 3:15

#39: lol um no OP didn't do that =/ please re-read the FML carefully.

Reply

chell1894 | 13

#3380096 - Monday 3 October 2011 3:19

I suspect, your fucked

Reply

white16sox | 19

#3380665 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:36

FYL OP. This sucks.

Reply

ImFrackinBored | 13

#3381110 - Monday 3 October 2011 8:17

This happens to me at school xD (being blamed, not shitting in the top part of the toilet O___O)

By UMad_Bro | 3

#3379502 - Monday 3 October 2011 0:58

lol they prankes you back

Reply

UMad_Bro | 3

#3379593 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:06

pranked* the d and the s are next to eachother on the keyboard, my bad xD

Reply

citymayer | 7

#3380893 - Monday 3 October 2011 6:33

Ha ha! Omg I had to explain myself.

You do know there's an edit feature right?

Reply

citymayer | 7

#3380895 - Monday 3 October 2011 6:33

Ha ha! Omg I had to explain myself.

You do know there's an edit feature right?

Reply

citymayer | 7

#3380898 - Monday 3 October 2011 6:33

Ha ha! Omg I had to explain myself.

You do know there's an edit feature right?

By Neilish | 15

#3379525 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:01

What is an upper decker??

Reply

ArcadePie | 10

#3379563 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:03

When someone takes a shit in the cistern (top part of toilet)

Reply

Silenthunter | 0

#3379687 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:23

Watch The Office (U.S)

Reply

ShyAnn29 | 14

#3379764 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:43

Thank you 8, I didn't know what that was either

Reply

chell1894 | 13

#3380107 - Monday 3 October 2011 3:22

It's a fucking bitch to clean up and takes people a long time to find where the horrid stench is coming from.. I'd kill someone if they did that to my toilet. Except it is the ultimate revenge. Someone pisses you off, just upper decker their toilet.

Reply

Iheartfunny | 1

#3380272 - Monday 3 October 2011 4:07

Well OP knew the risks when he singed up to be the office prankster its just not a job for everyone.

We lose so many new recruites that way its a damn shame

Reply

HerpaderpMeg | 12

#4133159 - Wednesday 7 March 2012 22:32

its worse when the shit sits there, then when you flush the toilet, bam, shit instead of water. Most disgusting thing ever.

By coltsrock37 | 15

#3379539 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:02

That's what you get for not taking your job seriously

Reply

AngryCanadian | 0

#3382487 - Monday 3 October 2011 17:10

Jim Halpert just got owned

By ArcadePie | 10

#3379541 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:02

Kind of like the boy who cried wolf except with pranks, and someone taking a dump in the cistern

Reply

megapeyt | 17

#3379590 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:06

2 things
1: good analogy
2: nice profile pic

Reply

FreakAZoidd | 3

#3380887 - Monday 3 October 2011 6:32

I kno 12, already said it, but your profile pic makes me laugh every time.

By ckr911 | 5

#3379548 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:03

Maybe you shouldn't be annoying and play idiot pranks on your colleagues.

By fatalkiss | 0

#3379554 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:03

Well, uh... You wanted people to see you that way, so now they do. What'd you expect?

By megapeyt | 17

#3379575 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:04

The one time you don't do it, is the one time you WILL take the heat for it. That's life for you. FYL dude

By Dramori | 29

#3379584 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:05

Demand DNA testing on the evidence? ;)

Reply

farhil | 14

#3380406 - Monday 3 October 2011 4:40

Dude, I totally thought you were a girl at first...

By twofirstnames | 12

#3379603 - Monday 3 October 2011 1:07

Karma..