Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted floor. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's just fighting back.
Marcella1016 32
Protip for taking ***** in public with those aggressive automatic flushers: Lay a piece of toilet paper over the sensor. No matter how much you move, the sensor is “looking” at the toilet paper and doesn’t see you. So you can comfortably wipe your ass without having to worry about a tsunami of liquid sewage giving you a surprise enema. You’re welcome, and good luck!
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
It's just fighting back.
Marcella1016 32
Protip for taking ***** in public with those aggressive automatic flushers: Lay a piece of toilet paper over the sensor. No matter how much you move, the sensor is “looking” at the toilet paper and doesn’t see you. So you can comfortably wipe your ass without having to worry about a tsunami of liquid sewage giving you a surprise enema. You’re welcome, and good luck!
debbyman13 21
Some of the sensors are built into the wall :(
Yudith 28
Thank you! I'm gonna tape those f**** sensors!
And1 12
Unfortunately, bad sh*t happens to good people.